Confessions of a Struggling Christian Mom
I had a mom tell me recently that Christian women just aren’t transparent enough. That we are all looking in, from a distance, on other families, wishing we had it together like them, that our children behaved like those, that our life was going smoothly like hers.
Well I know it’s true of bloggers, sometimes, that people have an unrealistic view of them. So I’m writing to tell you something:
I am struggling SO MUCH as a mother this year. I won’t go into too many details, for the sake of protecting the dignity of my children, but I have a particularly difficult child (or two?) that has caused me to hurt like I’ve never hurt, to cry like I’ve never cried, and has even pushed me to moments I thought I might despair.
Rejoice, But Why?
But slooooooowly, I’m coming to the place where I can “rejoice” in the trials, only because He said to, and I have to trust that if they are working in my life for my good and His glory, then I should rejoice.
And this morning, I opened my own devotional, the one I wrote for when motherhood feels too hard, and read this:
“We strive–and there is a place for striving–but mostly we forget, ‘The Lord will go before you.’ We strive and fail, so we make more charts, try harder and finally give up…unless, at the end of our striving we realize, ‘His grace is sufficient for me; for when I am weak, then He is strong.’
Do I ever just leave the room, go to a quiet place, fall on my knees and strive there? What would life be like if I made a habit of this striving?
‘He is close to the broken and contrite.’
What is your wilderness? More importantly, what is it wringing out of your heart? A shaking fist, or the cry…’Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him”? Look past your present suffering. Thank God for the crucible that will melt away the dross.”
He is For Me
And I chose, today, to remember that life is not so much about easing my own pain, but walking faithfully through what the Lord gives me, looking only to HIM for my joy, believing that He is for me.
Friend, He is for you too, whatever trial you are walking through. Trust Him. And rejoice.