“Give him direct communication, respect, appreciation, food and good lovin’, and he’ll do just about anything you wish…” Dr. Laura
“…And let the wife she that she reverence her husband.” Eph 5:33
Yes, you read it right–“reverence”.
Revere: “To regard with affectionate awe”.
Yes, this language is foreign to a culture riddled with self, a hatred of men and and low view of marriage and children.
But we are not of the world, and when we obey God, and reverence our husbands, our marriages become a picture of Christ and his church, a light to a dark place.
And our husbands respond with all the irony that is our God–he becomes humble, loving, and more willing than ever to please!
I have heard women say, “I will respect my husband when he earns it”. He probably won’t be around long enough to earn it. What if he only went to work when I “earned” the right to be loved?
We are to respect our husbands because to do otherwise would be disobedience to a holy God. He’s the one to whom we must answer, and He has our very best intentions in mind. He knows what we need too, and He has prescribed the formula for a happy marriage…if we will follow it.
God knew we wanted to be loved, to be treated with affection and tenderness; and since He created us, He knows what will draw that out of our husbands–respect, admiration and appreciation.
As simple as it is, this one is so hard for me…I’m not even going to pretend to have arrived. I struggle with a critical spirit, a rebellious nature and a selfish heart. All too often I look at my husband’s faults, critique every thing he does, and ignore the enormously long list of wonderful things he is and does.
Why do we do that?
Do you know what makes a husband happy? To quote Dr. Laura again, (I’m sorry, but she just has it together about men!)
“Give him direct communication, respect, appreciation, food and good lovin’, and he’ll do just about anything you wish…”
He just wants to come home to a smiling wife, who despite all his faults, appreciates that he works so hard for her, that he’s a good daddy, that he puts gas in the car when he’s out, that he checks the oil, or… fill in the blank.
Debi Pearl addresses the age old problem of wives trying to improve their husbands, i.e. “disrespect” (which we are all so prone to do–remember Eve? “Here honey, this will make you smarter 😉
She says if we would just appreciate the things he does (even if they are small), praise him for those things, he will begin to work harder in every area for more appreciation.
Of course in a godly marriage mutual respect exists; but I’m describing the honor due to the head of our homes–the man who shoulders the world for us, slays dragons for us, and protects us with all the love and care of a shining knight….(excuse my poetic digression 😉
We are to exhibit the kind of respect that doesn’t question every little thing he does, as if he is a child in need of training. The kind of respect that rests in knowing that if he is wrong, God knows how to handle it…it is not our job to reprove.
For some, it takes a real conscious effort to break habits of criticism (that’s me!) It requires us to “take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ”. But when we do truly respect and reverence our husbands, contentment and joy flood in.
Doesn’t our God delight in irony? I think he asks us to do things completely opposite our nature so that we must absolutely depend on Him for the strength to do it…to know that on our own, we can’t.