Postpartum life is not as fun at 43 than I remember at a younger age. (Although having a little baby in the house is!) But the upside is that I’ve had enough babies to expect and prepare for the crazy roller coaster of hormones that is my life after giving birth.
I just thought it’d be fun (helpful? encouraging? distracting?) to share a few snippets of my life in this season.
First thing: there’s just nothing, nothing as wonderful as a newborn. And this newborn seems softer, sweeter and lovelier than ever I remember a newborn being. We just drink him in. And the reality is, I have to fight to hold him. From the very moment he wakes up (sometimes from a sibling standing over his crib waking him up) there are negotiations and arguments about “who gets him next” and who held him the most yesterday as a bargaining chip for who gets to hold him next today. Poor guy.
And secondly, I’m a blubbering cry baby. Well some days. And others I’m as chipper as can be. It’s a little like feeling bipolar, maybe. Which makes my husband’s job exceedingly interesting, playing “guess which emotion” each day when he comes home from work.
One day he was being super sweet and called me on his way home to ask me if he could pick anything up for me. Immediately I felt a tinge of disappointment as I was particularly wishing for a “surprise dessert” (I crave sweets like a crazy person when I’m nursing), because, reading minds is a husband super power. So I just answered, “Well, we don’t have any dessert but it’s up to you. I’m OK.”
Even I wasn’t prepared for bursting into tears when he came home without any. (He quickly remedied the situation, by the way.)
Another day I burst into tears after an unsuccessful attempt to unclog the toilet. It’s mayhem.
And then other days are blissful, with so much energy and enthusiasm I tire myself.
There are other “fun” things a postpartum woman deals with that I’ll leave to the knowledge of women everywhere, and I’d love to hear your stories.
The good news is, things balance out, the belly shrinks, it feels wonderful to walk again (though diastasis still ails me), and eventually, I’ll sleep through the night, but for now, even the midnight interruptions are a gift (well, mostly) as I consider the privilege of being my sweet baby’s only lifeline and I cherish this probably-last chapter in my life of nestling a newborn in my arms.
And I have learned that whatever season of life we find ourselves in, replete with ups and downs, tears and laughter, it’s good to just be there, knowing that the harder days will eventually melt into good days and it’s all a part of life and it’s going to be OK.
I’m obviously not writing much now, focusing on motherhood, but I wanted to drop in and give you a quick update.
Oh, and following this post I wrote on Facebook last week:
“I might be able to handle this news on a normal day, but my husband’s sad news from Walmart, to this waiting, postpartum woman, confirming that they have stopped selling Danish Wedding cookies, might just put me over the edge.”
my sister sent me a delivery of 4 boxes of wedding cookies–I might survive.