Home marriage Make-over Part 4: But I’m Not Meek and Quiet!

Make-over Part 4: But I’m Not Meek and Quiet!

by Kelly Crawford

But let it [adorning] be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands;” 1 Peter 3:4,5

I thought the trait of discretion would move nicely into thoughts about this popular verse which describes godly beauty. And folks, I’ve always struggled with this one! “A meek and quiet spirit” just doesn’t seem to *fit* my personality.

It helps to know that, of course, this verse doesn’t imply all women are to be quiet and shy. Some are naturally given to a quiet disposition, and some are not. The word to pay attention to here is “spirit”.

We must also note that Peter is speaking directly to wives, so her behavior is foremost in relation to her husband. To be meek is to “be easily imposed upon” or submissive. To have a quiet spirit, is to be imposed upon cheerfully . We can submit on the outside and yell about it on the inside…which is not a quiet spirit.

Peter was saying that a wife of an unbeliever will be more attractive and be more likely to convert her husband if she is submissive to him. Of course, the same instruction would much more apply to wives of believing husbands.

We all know that the word “submission” takes a beating, even from many Christians. It’s hard to believe that a large segment of the Christian community has danced around this word and redefined it. Boy we just don’t like submitting–not even to God!

Submission doesn’t imply devalued or trod upon; a man is commanded to be submissive too–to Christ. That doesn’t make him a wimp anymore than a woman who submits to her husband. And we are to be submissive to each other.

It is God’s order, and we have a choice to follow it and reap the blessing, or refute it and be miserable. In most cases, a husband responds to this supernatural order with love and honor–he submits to her needs in return.

A meek and quiet spirit defers to her husband and even her family. It really is the core of a servant’s heart, the one Jesus had.

Here’s a test: You are picking up your bedroom, and your husband’s clothes are scattered all over the floor–a usual scene. Do you:

1.  Throw them all in a corner and “show him” what happens if he doesn’t pick up after himself?

2.  Pick them up grumbling as you put them away?

3.  Dwell on all the things he does for you that he doesn’t have to, and consider it a blessing to be able to serve him in such a small way? Proceed to fold/hang his clean clothes as neatly as possible for an “extra blessing”?

I know, we’ve all reacted the wrong way. I’ve got my hand raised too. But that’s why we’re working on it!

This verse says that a submissive spirit is an *ornament*…a decoration that makes us beautiful. Let’s focus on peaceful, quiet and submissive spirits. Let’s turn a deaf ear to the world’s prescription for a happy marriage (their track records stinks!) and become beautiful ornaments in our homes.

Part 5: Make-over: Chaste?

Part 6:  Make-over: Teacher of Good Things

Part 7:  Make-over: Contentment is Lovely

Part 8:  Make-over: Wise Women Build

Part 9:  Make-over: The Total Beautiful Woman



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Farrah September 18, 2008 - 10:22 am

I was actually just posting today about how difficult it is to give submission and control to your husband, but in the end we will be rewarded.

Audrey September 18, 2008 - 10:39 am

ah, I wish today I was only picking up my husbands clothes off the floor.

Kim M. September 18, 2008 - 10:49 am

Very good!
I love the practical example too.

Anonymous September 18, 2008 - 12:14 pm

“Easily imposed upon”…I pray about being meek(because I talk waaaaayyyy too much) and that definition gives me what I am lacking. Thank you so much.
That is definitly walking the walk. Could it also fit under not being easily offended? I try to teach that to my kids too but I think I like “easily imposed upon” for me;). The women that I know that I consider to have a meek and quiet spirit really do fit that definition.

Mamma J

Aaron September 18, 2008 - 12:32 pm

Hello blogger world! And a great big hug to my wife, Kelly, who always chooses #3. Thank you for blessing me!

Word Warrior September 18, 2008 - 12:50 pm

AWWWW…would you look at that…I didn’t even know he had a blogger account 😉

(I better go pick up his clothes before he gets home, huh? 😉

Civilla September 18, 2008 - 1:15 pm

I’m thankful I married a military man who not only picks up after himself, but picks up after me and the kids, too! And, yes, I think we should be willing to be easily imposed upon, and cheerfully!

Lady-in-the-Making September 18, 2008 - 2:01 pm


C’est moi.

Thanks for the nudge.

Terry @ Breathing Grace September 18, 2008 - 3:04 pm

Very encouraging word. Thank you.

Gombojav Tribe September 18, 2008 - 5:29 pm

How sweet that your husband commented on your blog!!


PS Did you get the clothes picked up in time? LOL!

Anonymous September 18, 2008 - 8:57 pm

I studied this out a while back and read a commentary that said that “quiet” meant serene, like a placid lake. A meek and quite person doesn’t cause ripples, and does not get ruffled, herself.

Diane September 20, 2008 - 3:05 am

Well Kelly, that was mostly convicting for me. So my journey continues *smile*.

Thanks for the gentle reminders.


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Zipporah Parker September 16, 2020 - 9:54 am

I absolutely love this! The very thought of being able to serve my husband with reverence and fear, warms and delights me! It is wonderful to see you encouraging and teaching women so that they do not follow the example of Vashti. To obey is truly to become like Queen Esther.


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