How to Raise a Snowflake (An Overly Sensitive, Easily Offended Person Who Struggles with Life)

By the new definition of what it means to be a snowflake, it feels like we’re living in a winter wonderland, where it truly makes one wonder, “How did we get here?”

Maybe you’ve noticed that we live in a time more than ever where feelings rule and the main rule is that anything or anyone that hurts my feelings is wrong. Anything or anyone who makes me feel bad for any reason is wrong. Above all else, I must feel good about my choices, no matter what they are. We are killing taboos left and right because they make us feel bad. But by doing so, we are killing ourselves as a healthy society.

Guilt is a normal part of life and a good part when it comes as a result of doing what is wrong. In order to eliminate guilt (to preserve our feelings) we must eliminate the idea that anything is wrong.

I got pregnant out of wedlock when I was 20. I felt guilty about that and I should have. I felt somewhat embarrassed, and I should have. I had to pay some negative consequences, even though there were some wonderful consequences as well. Because as creatures created by God, He gave us good rules to help us live as well as we can. Having sex outside of marriage is wrong, according to Scripture. When we sin against that, we face consequences. All of that is good.

This week I’ve read two articles that left my mouth gaped open. One was from a pastor who wants to erase every sexual taboo. Down to polygamy and even happily married couples having other partners.

The other was about a feminist, foul-mouthed pastor who encouraged women to send her their purity rings, that she melted down to create a vagina-statue which she presented to Gloria Steinem. The idea was to castigate the “horribly damaging purity movement” and set women free from such old-fashion, prudish ideas like purity. Because again, no one should feel bad at any cost.

Where did this overly sensitive, self-exalting ideology come from? It is rooted in the worship of self, and it’s as old as the earth. “They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator…”   Romans 1:25

And the reason it’s important to talk about it, is that it’s so easy for us, even who know the truth, to be reeled in to the soothing sirens of self-love. But it winds down a slippery slope and lands us in all sorts of distorted confusion.

The worship of self is destructive on every level. Our goal as parents cannot be to protect our children’s feelings, no matter what. Our goal must be to teach them that choices have consequences and our aim in life is not to do what we feel is best, but to do what glorifies our Maker. We must teach them to orient themselves to their Creator, to become familiar with what pleases Him, and live lives in pursuit of that goal. (“Seek first the Kingdom…and all these things will be added unto you.”)

That’s how we find peace and joy and happiness. Snowflakes will melt. We want to raise children who persevere through life’s challenges. Teach them, then, that life isn’t about their happiness; it’s about living lives of humility, glorifying the Father, who in return, will exalt them.

9 Responses to “How to Raise a Snowflake (An Overly Sensitive, Easily Offended Person Who Struggles with Life)”

  1. 6 arrows says:

    Speaking of consequences, do those “pastors” at the links have any idea of what they will face in the judgment because of how they’re “leading” their “flocks”? Have they read Hebrews 10? It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.

    It’s been said that the church is only a little behind the culture in its slide into moral morass. I guess that pastor at the first link, with his article titled “It’s time for the church to grow up about sex,” is worried we aren’t growing up into the culture fast enough.

    And here I thought we were supposed to be growing up into Christ.

    Wolves. They’re “ministering” the word of the culture instead of speaking the truth of the love and justice of Christ.

  2. Jeanette says:

    Amen, and amen. Thank you for bringing us back to truth Kelly. So appreciate you.

  3. Caroline says:

    My husband and I have a decidedly non-snowflake adult child (now 22 years old). We think some of why she is so balanced and able to cope with whatever comes her way is because we are older parents. She wasn’t born until we were almost 40 years old and is our first and only child. We have talked about how we still maintain a lot of our parents’ values, and our parents grew up during the Depression when people didn’t have time to whine. We passed them on to our child along with making more modern parenting decisions (cell phone use, schooling, etc.)
    We’re no longer religious, but we still appreciate the basic values we were given by our parents and communities (including church). I have noticed that most of our daughter’s friends’ parents who are a good ten years younger than we are were not as sure of themselves as parents when all of our kids were younger and teenagers. We made decisions about our child and what we would allow and not allow without really worrying about what other people thought. The younger parents around us seemed to struggle more with this, and many of their children struggled with life’s complications more than ours seemed (and seems) to. Just my thoughts. I may or may not be right 🙂 I do agree with your premise and also wish people in our culture would feel a little sense of guilt and shame (not the soul-crushing kind) once in a while. It normally is what can change behavior.

  4. Carla Kizer says:

    Amen! hallelujah! I am so blessed by the Lord to have found out about you through a homeschool summit given by Generations a couple of yrs ago. You posting these blogs have been nothing but a pure blessing and encouragement to me as I parent and homeschool these three beautiful blessings of mine. Keep being the light and salt and sharing all these golden nuggets. God bless you and your family abundantly!

  5. Diana says:

    Oh, my goodness. I clicked on that link and now feel like gagging. I would much prefer that evil people such as the author of that article would simply leave the church, rather than remaining behind as false teachers. Blech.

    Wonderful article, Kelly. Thank you. Love it when you have time to write!!

  6. D. says:

    I’ve noticed the falling away of many so-called evangelical Christians who seem to want a bigger platform. Instead of making God’s grace something to treasure and live for holiness, it becomes all about who can live in “freedom” while still committing the same sins. There is a fear in many of being offensive if they stay true to the Gospel message, so it becomes all-inclusive to the point where anything goes. I am so thankful that you, Kelly, continue to speak the truth in love and with great boldness.

    Everywhere we look is the message of self-love, self-confidence, self-respect and believing in ones self. The ironic thing about this supposed liberating movement is that we are at an all time high of a generation who can’t figure out who they want to be (male or female), with severe mental illness and suicide. Obviously our slogans of self-worth are self-imploding.

Leave a Reply

Dissenting comments are welcome only in the spirit of "iron sharpening iron"; hateful or angry responses will be removed at my discretion. You may add your gravatar (image) at Gravatar

WordPress Themes