Why I Removed the Comments

A long, quiet search of my thoughts brought me to a realization I’ve known, and just failed to enforce on this blog.

When I created the blog, I had two purposes:

1. To encourage, challenge and inspire Christian mothers and wives in their life calling.

2. To challenge women in the body of Christ to think about areas where the church as been affected by worldly wisdom, and to encourage Christian women to seek the truth of God’s Word for the direction of their lives.

Because I am a busy mother, even accomplishing these two things takes careful balance of my time. And because of that, I can not allow the blog to become an apologetics platform where worldviews are battled out.

Debate is good; I love it to a fault. But when people are “debating” from two different worldviews, it is no longer debate, but “foolish disputing” which the Bible warns us not to partake of.

I welcome those who are searching for truth, who are looking for Jesus, who are hurting, or lonely, or confused, to come and listen and be a part of our conversations here.

I’m not even opposed to disagreements. Despite the accusations, I have always allowed differing opinions.

But the blog is officially closed to those who are settled in their minds about their opposite world views.

I don’t have time to prove creationism, disprove atheism or other opposite worldviews from mine. There ARE blogs that do, those who have that calling, so if that’s your thing, I’m sure you’ll not be disappointed.

I am not here to discuss whether feminism is harmful; I know it is. I was once a feminist, I’ve studied it, read about it from its own proponents, am fully aware about the three waves, am fully aware that many of you who are feminists do not feel aggression towards those who are not, and I know that some simply view feminism as a wonderful movement with no other intent than protecting women.

I am not “open to being convinced otherwise”. Call me closed-minded, it matters little. Some of you feel the same way about biblical roles in marriage. I will not come to your blogs and try to convince you otherwise. (Freedom of choice, right?)

I want this to be a pleasant place. Not necessarily where we always agree, but where we are all at least starting from the same foundation of truth. I simply don’t have time to be “all things” here.

Thank you for obliging.

Comments which do not comply will be deleted, or comment moderation will be enabled.

44 Responses to “Why I Removed the Comments”

  1. Leslie says:

    Well worded, Kelly.
    To God be the glory…..

    Praying for you.

  2. Leisha says:

    Very well put! I have read some of the comments in the past by people that disagree with some of your posts and their completely not on the same page; their so far out in left field that it’s NOT worth the breath to try and explain your thoughts. My thought was always why don’t they find a blog in which they enjoy reading or is it fun for them to get “hot and bothered” by our thoughts on family, women and the such. I would be miserable if I read blogs that constantly disagreed with my faith and view points on family. However, some people just love that confrontation I suppose.
    I pray that you will continue to let the Holy Spirit guide you in your posts and your spiritual tug will not be ignored!
    Many blessings,
    Leisha

  3. mrshester says:

    Sometimes you have to dust the sand off your feet and walk on. Don’t let them have your pearls, Kelly.

    Leisha, I do think alot of people truly enjoy getting riled up and then taking that out on others. I’ve been guilty of it myself before and still struggle with that “dominant female” thing I tried to hard to cultivate in my “past life”. I was a tough chick that would take someone down at the drop of a hat. I see alot of that part of me in some of those comments. Just for the sake of raising themselves up (an-I sure told them, huh- kind of thing)

    That’s one thing I really admire about Kelly, she tries to share the pearls that she has but she knows when to step away from the pig pen before they completely turn and rend her apart. This reformed sow is grateful for the limbs she climbs out on from time to time.

  4. Jen in Al says:

    Dear Kelly, beautifully said!!! Reminds me of this verse; 1 Cor. 1:18 “For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is power of God.” Blessings to you and yours and MANY thanks! jen in al

  5. Anonymous says:

    “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”

    Ephesians 6:12

  6. Nicole says:

    A bit of encouragement though – you never know what it is that leads dissenters to come and spend their time and read.

    Maybe it is getting satisfaction from argument, OR it could be the Holy Spirit tugging at their heart without them even knowing it.

    As easy as it may be for us to think we are innocent, if we are putting down someone because they disagree with us we aren’t being very Christlike. I feel that you have handled it fairly.

    I admire you for sticking to your mission in blogging, regardless of who agrees/disagrees with you or how loudly. The fact that you didn’t back away even with the disagreement really shows your conviction, and is to be commended.

  7. Happy in Dole Valley :) says:

    Thank you, Kelly. Did your husband encourage you to make this change? I know mine would (if I blogged, that is…). It’s a blessing to encourage you as you encourage us in our callings. And ditto on the other comments to this particular post — well said (and special thanks to Leisha; I’ve been there as well). Many blessings to you and yours from a content stay-at-home mother of five. 🙂

    Lisa

  8. Kathy, Jeff's Wife says:

    Praise the Lord! I often forgo the comment section because it becomes so wearisome.

  9. Craig and Heather says:

    Interesting post, Kelly.

    I’m one of those people who deliberately visit other people’s sites with whom I do not see exactly eye to eye. Sometimes I even visit non-Christian blogs. My main purpose is to “listen” to others who may have thought of something that I have not, and then I am forced to go the Scripture and study for myself what is true.

    But I tend to be a “debater” and more than once have opened the comment box one or another site…then was urged in my heart to just close the page without actually posting.

    While I believe is important to have an answer ready to those who genuinely are interested as they question our faith in Christ, the Bible is quite clear about trying to intellectually “shout down” those who don’t believe. And we are also warned to stay away from arguing over divisive satellite (non-core, or matter-of-conscience) issues among ourselves.

    All that to say: I’m learning to discern when it is appropriate to open my “mouth”. Living proof that God matures us as He draws us closer to Him! 🙂

    Heather

  10. Mary R6 says:

    Kelly,

    AMEN !!!!!!!!!!!!

    There is no point in having discussions about your topics with people who “just want to argue”.It reminds me of the “consciousness raising groups” of the 80’s. Always “learning” but never coming to the truth.
    I for one enjoy your blog immensely.

  11. Word Warrior says:

    Heather,

    To be sure, I am open to differing opinions…I do not want that fact to be lost. That is one of the purposes of the blog, to debate and challenge issues that, perhaps, women haven’t thought of before.

    But I feel it necessary to draw a distinct line between “differing opinions” and arguing with those who are “blinded by the god is this age”.

    If the Holy Spirit draws an unbeliever and they are looking for truth, I am thrilled.

    But this isn’t the place where I feel led to dispute world views with people of completely different faiths.

    Not even that I think that is wrong all the time, but as I said in the post, I personally don’t have time to do everything here. I have to hone my focus or shut down the blog 😉

  12. Misty Smith says:

    Thanks, for pulling in the reigns, Kelly. You are blessed with godly wisdom.

  13. Gombojav Tribe says:

    Logically, one only needs to be open-minded until they are convinced. Once they decide what to believe, logically, they should be closed-minded. What’s with perpetual open-mindedness anyway?

    On the TV show “House” a woman says to Dr. House, “How is it you always think you’re right?!” He replies, “I don’t. I just find it difficult to operate on the opposite assumption.”

    Stand firm, WW! It’s OK to be closed-minded when you are right! LOL!

    🙂

  14. authenticallyme says:

    I understand where you are coming from, and things were out of hand, but sadly, I dont think the unbelievers were only at fault. I actually saw the believers misbehaving much moreso. Im not saying anyone is a bad person…Im just saying it would be nice to have been acknowledged.

    Even int his very thread, I quote:

    Leisha said:
    ***I have read some of the comments in the past by people that disagree with some of your posts and their completely not on the same page; their so far out in left field that it’s NOT worth the breath to try and explain your thoughts. My thought was always why don’t they find a blog in which they enjoy reading or is it fun for them to get “hot and bothered” by our thoughts on family, women and the such. I would be miserable if I read blogs that constantly disagreed with my faith and view points on family. However, some people just love that confrontation I suppose.***

    “so far out in left field” (a put down)

    “why dont they find a blog they like” (assumption that we dont like the blog, in our own way)

    “some people just love that confrontation I suppose” (assumption, again? put down? shaming tactic?)

    Mrs Hester said:

    ***Sometimes you have to dust the sand off your feet and walk on. Don’t let them have your pearls, Kelly. ***

    and *** but she knows when to step away from the pig pen before they completely turn and rend her apart. This reformed sow is grateful for the limbs she climbs out on from time to time.***

    the pig pen? (absolute put down—see, I believe in some
    absolutes 😉

    reformed sow? (I am ‘reformed too, so I am a sister in Christ. Therefore, I *do* interpret this as a putdown….if i were spoken like this to in public face-to-face…it would be very hurtful.)

    Jen in AL quotes a scripture to point out how some of us are foolish and perishing. Some people posting here are professed Christians.

    Happy In Dole Valley seconds what Leisha said, which I found offensive in the demeanor in which it was said.

    Nicole posted that maybe some of us ‘dissenters’ come here because we like argument. (it is possible to come here and like learning, seeing how people all think differently, etc. I do not come here with a deliberate purpose to fight, period.)

    Mary R6 said ‘people who just want to argue’.

    Kelly, your OP here was clear and tactful. I understand. And I know you have to draw a line on how you feel it is profitable to spend your time, and unprofitable to spend your time. I respect that. You have said it before, and here we are again. I do not want to cause argument, but once in gets in throttle it is hard to separate from as now new things have been said. You have a lot going on, and it is your choice to not desire a blog leaning toward apologetics. I didnt see that happenening so much as I saw some of us questioning things that were posted, which SOMETIMES does delve into a deeper investigation of differing world views. I can see that, and I can see why you dont want it.

    That being said, you might be surprised to know that I tend to have many of the smame convictions as you. I am actually completely open to more children. I actually dont like birth control. I actually, in an ideal situation, would probably homeschool. Id live on a farm, stay at home, grow a garden, blah blah blah. Sometimes, fgor reasons unbeyond me, things happen, and im led on a path I dont want to be on. I would even agree that feminism has harmed people and society. On and on I could go…..I take the 10% or 20% of what i dont agree on, and expound, hoping to all draw us to live a little bigger of a world, where we can be diverse, and accepted for it. I know you dont feel I am probalby on the right path, and you are enititled to that opinion. I would have to say, ANONYMOUS stated very well how I think, esp after living in shame, perfectionism and the like for many years. We dont understand each other, and I guess it has to be ok. More importantly than any issue you post about here, what I really wanted to say was……

    That people who are christians put down people on your blog. I ask you to consider leaving my post up, so these people could consider how they sound like they are talking to people. I USED TO DO THIS A LOT. I think it would be wise for us all to remember that it is only because of Gods GRACE and MERCY that *ANY* of us can claim we think right on *any* subject. Instead of putting down others, cant we all just be grateful that we even have the capability to see straight, and follow God at all, in any given day, on any given subject? If my post is now allowed, why were the others…when I specifically post what they say and articulate WHY it is not said from a pure spirit? Then again, it is your blog, and you have the right to let others say what they want, and not allow me or someone else to not say what they want, but I really think a seemingly ‘argumentative’ post is not much different than the ‘put down’ posts I highlighted above.

    I also really liked the way Heather stated her piece. When Heahter posts, she has such a lovely way of saying whats true, or at minimum, true for her…without insulting people or using Scripture as a weapon…. and a lovely woman named Misty sent me a beautiful apology this morning….then I had to urge her to read old posts and see what an embarrassment I have been to myself and my faith, at times on this very blog, which I really, to this day, know I was WRONG for and just as guilty if not more, than anyone here. *big plank in eye* *make that two planks*

    In closing, I would like to say I was mediating on the scripture Kim M brought up yesterday, about Jesus drawing in the sand. I know it is about exposing sin, and casting stones. But…

    ….my thoughts went deeper into that scripture, trying to encompass what it is that bothers me so much about the disagreements that are sometimes hashed out here. Your OP in and of themselves, dont really bother me. Jesus drawing in the sand, speaks to me that only He can judge, in that manner. We are to judge in that we are to be discerning. And in some cases, hold people accoutnable. But we are not be the Jesus Police (not saying you are doing that Kelly….just hear me out……). Even if a mom works outside the home, we do not know for sure that she is being selfish…though reading here sometimes (all the posts…..the readers included especially)I take it that way. A mom might not homeschool, and if not she is viewed as following some propoganda, and it is assumed that she didnt put thought into it, or she is blind and must have issues in her heart. No matter what it looks like on the outside, you can only figure a person out so much. Jesus gets to draw lines in the sand. We can draw lines too, but there will be consequences. Once you draw a line in the sand, you now must follow that line to a tee. I dont want that for myself. I wonder if people walked away that day in the sand, because they knew the price of line drawing. I dont line draw with feminism, homeschool, or any of those conservative subjects. I would draw lines like crazy, becoming obsessed. The more lines I draw, the more I begin to see the world the way *I* have now detected is the best way. By default, I now place others in categories. I see other christians get caught up in this type of operating, too. I surmise that Jesus didnt want us categorizing people, to this extent. Not when it is unkind, shaming, and hurtful. Not when it divides. Not when it conveys a false message, through people, who Jesus really was, and *IS*.

    I do repsect that this has gotten out of hand, but like Heather, I really do try and learn from things said here. I dont think one reads your blog ALWAYS either agreeing or adamantly disagreeing. There is room in between.

    I know I have contributed to discussion, and can be passionate and emotional, sometimes to my fault.

    I am sincerely, let me repeat that..SINCERELY asking , above, why those people mentioned posted those things, and what they meant by it. I am not attacking, Im trying to understand. I took a look at what you kelly are saying, regarding your blog….and regarding the arguments….and I understand. I would like to see if any of the ladies here would be willing to look at their words and see how this sometimes does not profit anyone. I am trying to say these things in a spirit of being *for* everyone here, and not against, buit I am sure I fail miserably at that.

  15. Bethany Hudson says:

    GT- I loved this: “Logically, one only needs to be open-minded until they are convinced. Once they decide what to believe, logically, they should be closed-minded. What’s with perpetual open-mindedness anyway?”

    Well put, Kelly. I’m so glad you have reevaluated and restated a mission that is appropriate for you blog. You are not responsible for converting people’s thoughts; you don’t try to. I think of this blog as a place of encouragement and enlightenment for those who are ready to hear, and I’m glad to know that it will no longer be a platform for argument and dispute (even if we do disagree and have good intellectual banter from time to time).

    ~Bethany

  16. Word Warrior says:

    I agree w Bethany, “Daja, what a profound statement.”

  17. Miranda says:

    Good Choice!

  18. Anonymous says:

    As one of your new feminist commenters, I think you have a made a perfectly reasonable decision to exclude feminist commentary as inconsistent with the purposes of your blog. Your blog, your rules!

    I am one of those who, as Leisha says, “just love that confrontation” of differing view points on fundamental issues — but that doesn’t mean you have any obligation to accommodate that. You seem like a reasonable person and a nice person! Good luck with your blogging and your family!

    Best wishes,

    ELIZABETH

  19. shanie81 says:

    Kelly, I think you are making a very wise, productive move. And I whole heartedly appreciate that, despite my occasionally differing ideals, you have been warm and welcoming. I have leanred so much from you! Thanks!

  20. Word Warrior says:

    Thank you all, for the deepest part of me, for your understanding, even those who disagree 😉

  21. Nicole says:

    authenticallyme – I didn’t mean to accuse any particular group of arguing, or dissenting (it was said before I commented, which was part of why I even bothered commenting). I agree it’s being done on both “sides” of each issue. My point in even commenting was very similar to yours. I felt similarly that some of the comments on this post were accusatory and unnecessarily mean, and just wanted to remind everyone that people read and comment for all reasons, and we can never assume what that reason may be, so we’ve got to be nice to everyone, even someone who is “arguing” or “disagreeing”. I didn’t come across that way, and I apologize if what I said was offensive. I only meant a request to remember that we all have to respect each other because we don’t really know the real reason behind others coming to read/comment on a blog. God is the only one who can know a heart, we can’t make those assumptions and judge. We don’t have to agree, but we ought to still be polite.

  22. Mrs. Lady Sofia says:

    Kelly,

    I have to admit that I am glad that you will not be posting the more argumentative comments on your blog site. When I read through those comments, I don’t even want to bother posting because I don’t want to be part of that madness.

    I have learned that while I blog, if comments on a blog seem too heated, I just don’t bother to make a reply. I just read and keep on going about my business. My thought is, “Why should I contribute to this?”

    Anyway, thanks for being patient with us, and as always, I enjoy your blog posts. Even if I disagree with some of them, at least they get me thinking (smiles).

  23. Phamilyof6 says:

    I am so glad Kelly. I was just praying this for you yesterday! 🙂

    Praise God for answering and moving so quickly.

    Jess in Peru

  24. Word Warrior says:

    Jess,

    Thank you for praying…I know some others were too. It’s neat to see God orchestrate between prayer and our circumstances–all those miles away!

  25. mrshester says:

    AM,
    I am sorry if you found my comment to Kelly offensive. But, to be honest, I won’t apologize for what I said. I will explain it, just for the sake of the possibility that you are thinking I am just flat calling people animals for the sake of being mean:

    “Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.” Matthew 7:6

    “If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town.” Matthew 10:14

    Maybe including the Scriptures will make it easier to understand where I was coming from? And if you think those are hateful, then I guess you’ll have to take that up with God. But I won’t apologize for His Word, I pray that I did not use it out of context. If I did, for that I do apologize. But, regardless, the comment was for Kelly, and not you, and I have no control over what may anger you when it is the Truth of God’s Word.

    As for the “reformed sow” I was simply referring to myself, not you, so again, if it hurt your feelings, there isn’t much I can do for you. And to be honest, were it not for the blood of Jesus, we’d neither one be much better than maggots. I was in the world, I used the same arguments feminists used, I was by all accounts, a hateful sow alot of the time, and even more so to those I knew were teaching the Truth. I have no problem admitting that any of my righteous deeds (if there are any) are no better than filthy rags compared to Him. If I am offended by things said by others I know are wiser than I am, then that’s a sign to me that maybe I should search my own heart and motives.

    AM, as a sister in Christ, I do not want to anger anyone. I do not seek to either. But I will not apologize for it either. I truly hope you have a blessed day, and I wish you great things in the Love of Christ.

  26. Craig and Heather says:

    Word Warrior Said:

    To be sure, I am open to differing opinions…I do not want that fact to be lost. That is one of the purposes of the blog, to debate and challenge issues that, perhaps, women haven’t thought of before.

    But I feel it necessary to draw a distinct line between “differing opinions” and arguing with those who are “blinded by the god is this age”.

    If the Holy Spirit draws an unbeliever and they are looking for truth, I am thrilled.

    But this isn’t the place where I feel led to dispute world views with people of completely different faiths.

    Not even that I think that is wrong all the time, but as I said in the post, I personally don’t have time to do everything here. I have to hone my focus or shut down the blog 😉

    **********************

    Oh, I hope my comment wasn’t taken as chastisement! I totally agree with you in wanting to keep your focus and honoring the Lord with the way commenting is conducted here. Even if I didn’t agree, this is your blog and, as you said–If I don’t like it, I don’t have to visit.

    I was mainly speaking of myself and how I often read something that prompts me to want to “straighten that person out”, and am finally learning that isn’t supposed to be my attitude. Even if I am “right”, it takes Holy Spirit directed vision in order to see when it would be appropriate to jump in with my perspective and when it is best to just let things go for the moment.

    Besides, I can always take the information and go hash it out with myself on my own page 🙂

    H

  27. Claudia says:

    I just now read a few comments after seeing your “Why I Removed Comments” post. It makes me sad that you even have to deal with this, but not surprised. All I could think about was TIME. I wonder where people have the time to even partake in these kinds of arguments. I do not comment often, as I am too busy with what is going on at home. However, I feel called to respond when a blog has had such a positive impact on my family life and my walk with the Lord (like this blog). “Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time for the days are evil. So then, do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” Ephesians 5:15-17. Thank you for all you do, Kelly, to minister to so many. Claudia

  28. Word Warrior says:

    Heather,

    Completely understood…I wanted to be sure I was being clear, that I don’t want to have a “open only to Christians” blog, while still refusing to argue in circles with someone adamant about their world view. *smiles*

  29. Leisha says:

    authenticallyme,
    I'm always striving to be less judgemental in any thoughts and words (spoken & written) so it seems that my comment was taken out of context and an unintended hurt was felt by you. My apologies are extended.

    Here's my clarification for you. My understanding of comments that are left on previous posts (I didn't even read yesterdays. . too busy) that I felt were in "left field" (to me this means I have no idea what their thinking in regards to the topic it's not even remotely what Kelly is talking about. This is a term used frequently in my "circle". To me, it just means off key thoughts to the topic at hand. It's not meant to be demeaning. Most of the time we just have to ask for clarification as to what their thoughts meant. Sometimes when the thought is clarified we find understanding. Sometimes though, as in the case of what Kelly was talking about, we find people who seem to want to argue for the sake of argueing because their view point is very different than what her blog is focused around.

    Job 24:13 "There are those who are rebels against the light"

    That is why I don't understand why they would hang out and read and discuss. I am a person who doesn't like to argue, I'm a person who wouldn't ever go to blogs that completely disagree with my faith, my convictions and my path of life. (Previously I wrote: some people just love that I suppose) I don't know their reason; that's why I'm supposing it's fun for them!? I still don't understand it. . .

    These are not judgement statements to intentionally be mean or vindictive to people's differing view points. I enjoy reading when people have a different thought or twist on Kelly's posts, what I don't enjoy is hateful comments that stab at her beliefs and try to twist her words to mean something different. That's when I still think "go blog somewhere else!"

    Leisha

  30. Jen in Al says:

    AM, I did not intend any offense, i was simply trying to encourage Kelly. I can imagine how i would feel having so much of what i say twisted, misunderstood or just plain falling on deaf ears. I know that God’s Word tells me i am being foolish when i dismiss the truth, that any eye-opening for me is because of the grace of God ALONE. I hope that explains my use of that scripture. I believe it is intended to promote compassion in the heart of Christians not “putting others down”. Hope that helps…jen in al

  31. Kim M. says:

    I think you made a good decision Kelly. After I posted, I kept wondering if I said anything I shouldn’t have.

    AM,
    Don’t you just love that story about Jesus? That’s the Lord I serve!!! What a precious Friend He is!

  32. Lori says:

    AM, I don't understand why you took some of the comments: Leisha, Mrs. Hester, etc, to be guided at you. If they don't apply (as you go at length to show they don't), then they don't apply. No one mentioned you. No one quoted you. They just said "some people…" or even more personally, "I used to…". I thought it touching that Mrs. Hester used herself as her own example, that humility, and then you used that against her. AM "I ask you to consider leaving my post up, so these people could consider how they sound like they are talking to people. I USED TO DO THIS A LOT." Isn't that exactly what Mrs. Hester was saying of herself?

    AM, "when I specifically post what they say and articulate WHY it is not said from a pure spirit?" Now who's being accusatory and making assumptions?

    Speaking of assuptions:
    "assumption that we dont like the blog," &
    "Nicole posted that maybe some of us 'dissenters' come here because we like argument… I do not come here with a deliberate purpose to fight, period."
    Why are you assuming that they include you? To the observer, it appears that only you are including you. If the shoe fits, wear it. If it dosen't, no one said it's yours.

    "Once you draw a line in the sand, you now must follow that line to a tee." No, that's only if God drew the line in the sand. If you draw the line in the sand for yourself, you are allowed to re-evaluate.

    AM "without insulting people or using Scripture as a weapon" It's great to no be insulting when that's an option (though insult is sometimes unavoidable, biblically speaking). But scripture IS according to scripture a weapon. It is a double-edged sword. You're either on the handle end or the edge end. I'm not making that call for you, I'm just saying the options. It's lots of other things too, food, water, light, etc, but not to the exclusion of 2-edged sword.

    "That people who are christians put down people on your blog." You are correct, that does sometimes happen unfortunately. I have received snarky comments and have been *really* sarcastic myself. But sometimes the offense is not actually a put down. Sometimes the offense (when not snarky or sarcastic) is necessary. Sometimes the offense is only perceived. I do suspect that the worst offenders are the "hit-and-run" types, who hardly ever visit this site, or post, but then they swoop down and make their "clever" little remark and then fly off again into web-land without a care as to the offense they've caused. So they won't have the benefit of your observation here, unfortunately.

    (BTW, if someone apologizes to you in private, why do you mention it in public? )

    "Sometimes, fgor reasons unbeyond me, things happen, and im led on a path I dont want to be on."

    I think this is the real thrust of your frequent "you don't understand how you hurt/misunderstand" posts. You here strongly suggest that you are hurting and confused. I do not wonder that you take so many comments as darts when they were neither aimed nor intended at you. You're hurting anyway.

    Why am I posting this?
    1)Because I see you accusing others of what you say is so hurtful: making unfounded accussations. And
    2)to remind you, if it is helpful, that commenters aren't necessarily against you (even if they may argue with a point). I think you are taking things (and I believe I demonstrated it) personally that are not for you. You are grieved over non-offenses in at least some cases. The grief seems to be stemming from your own confusion or frustration. That is something you CAN deal with. Others can't for you. I'm terribly sorry for your sense of being on the wrong path. Who here can't sympethize? I think that you can take much more comfort in the fellowship here than you seem to be finding (based on your own statements). I hope you do.

    Despite my direct way of commenting, I have no derision towards you or your posting. My heart is moved for you in a way it wasn't before today. God bless you and your walk, may it be where it needs to be, and may you have peace.

    Respectfully your,
    Lori

  33. royalblood says:

    Amen.
    Truth Requires no defense.
    God’s word is the truth.
    His Word make it clear if not in law in principle.
    Lovely stance you took.
    Also as one person hinted .Seeds are being planted by your ministry.
    You may not reap the harvest but you may have set an arguing visitor on considering the truth.

    God Bless you.

  34. authenticallyme says:

    Lori, I moreso wasnt talking about ME. Ive done this myself, as stated. I was more concerned about the fact is was speaking volumes to others, perhaps.

    mine were not accusations. Some things said here were rude. even if it wasnt intended, an apology could be given, because of how rude some things WERE said.

    I dont mean im on a wrong path. I meant I needed to make choices in my life I otherwise didnt want to make.

    I already apologized, again, to the person who I posted that about publicly. Before I even came here and read this. We’ve been emailing. I made a mistake. I should not have done that.

    I am allowed to say when something was rude, and it was rude.

    After telling me that Im doing the same thing, you are accusing/assuming things about me again. You only know what I type, not everything that is inside me.

  35. Lori says:

    AM – “You only know what I type, not everything that is inside me.”

    That is certainly true. I was responding only to what you typed, except for the “your hurting” suggestion. That I inferred from some typed comments here and in other blogs (like about scripture memorization and grace), but inferred it. I’m glad I was mistaken about your path. I apologize for that annoyance.

  36. authenticallyme says:

    Lori, I re-read your post and yes, you are correct…..I made assumptions. When I say that people acted rudely, I was not talking about everyone who I quoted. There were one or two examples that were erased in the ‘feminism’ post that I was actually thinking about, not the quotes I mentioend in this post. I was seeking to understand how everyone meant what they said. I get just as worked up over the treatment of others as i do myself. I know that i have compassion as some sort of gift, but yes, I certainly misuse it at times. You are right…i cannot read anyones heart.

    Perhaps me addressing those who werent possibly talking about me….or even meaning it the way they said….is on some parallel as you addressing me about it? maybe we both see a need for people to think about what they are really doing. Thank you, now in hindsight for pointing that out. In my own way, I did the same thing. Sometimes it can be a great gift to see oneself as a hypocrit. Then I see how much more I need Gods help. Thank You.

  37. Lori says:

    AM – “There were one or two examples that were erased in the ‘feminism’ post that I was actually thinking about, not the quotes I mentioend in this post.” Thanks for clarifying. I admit I did not read the comments from that blog posting.

    “I get just as worked up over the treatment of others as i do myself.” And that is a wonderful thing!

    “Sometimes it can be a great gift to see oneself as a hypocrit.” You here show a very humble attitude. But I hope I didn’t imply that you are a hypocrite. See, I do think people can do things out of their official way of thinking,or out of their habit, without meaning to. I did suspect that you were too emotionally bound to the arguments to notice what was likely (now surely) a slip. That does not make you a hypocrite. 🙂

    Thank you for giving me the benefit of the doubt too, regarding care for others’ feelings and treatment. Yes, that was my concern. It’s a little tricky to me to want to defend someone, but not want to “butt in”. But then, I’m a “regular” here, so I’m not always sure when it’s butting it. When I’m not a regular visitor, I tend to sit on my hands (so to speak) and leave the site. Thanks again. 🙂

  38. authenticallyme says:

    No Lori, I do believe I *was* a hypocrit…even if it spun off of something I didnt start. Often I want to ask people if they see how what they are saying *sounds*, but dont.

    Well Kelly left up my post, and now I learned from it….and also in hindsight wished I would have left some of the text OUT of my post. I really was not trying to ‘attack’ people….was trying to understand. But, yes, some things are left better untouched and unsaid. Id delete the post, but am not trying to hide anything….

  39. Kim M. says:

    I don’t see anonymous’ comment, but I want to address her/him.

    Anonymous,

    Sadly most people look at others to determine their salvation instead of Jesus Christ.

    Don’t let your destiny be decided by something other people do. Really…. too many make the decision to turn their back on God because of others (who may or may not know Christ).

    Something sobering: We will not be judged by what OTHERS do but by the choices we ourselves make. Others will not determine our destiny. We will. Choose Him!

    I speak in Love. Just as I would push someone out of the path of physical danger.

    John 14:6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

    He loves you and wants you to be His.

  40. authenticallyme says:

    Oh, Jen In AL-maybe I took your verse not the way you meant to use it then. Agreeing on feminism isnt ‘the message of the cross’ thats foolish. First we come to Jesus, then other things in our life begin to align with that, in time. A person can not agree on feminism issues, but still believe the message of the cross. Perhpas I was being oversensitive, and reading too much into things. I dont know. In any event, thank you for clarifying for me.

  41. Anonymous says:

    It’s a very loaded topic; feminism… Kelly, when you discuss feminism, you provoke some people (not to say a lot of people). Therefore it’s not a suprise that you receive all these comments, which aren’t only from people with different worldwievs or other religions but from Christians as well. So the best you can do Kelly, is to not discuss this topic any further at all, since we are that many who disagree with you on this very issue. Peace

  42. Word Warrior says:

    Well, Anon, unfortunately, that’s not possible 😉

    As a Christian woman who I feel has been given a platform to write and share with other believers, avoiding the topic of feminism is hardly possible.

    I believe feminism to be a concept whereby many (Christians included) have forsaken biblical truth-not simply a “harmless” movement of women. And as such, we are bringing destruction to ourselves, our families and our culture.

    If I am concerned for people, their families, and their culture, I cannot but speak.

    One can’t address problems without addressing the cause.

  43. Craig and Heather says:

    Anoymous,

    I agree with you that Feminism is a highly charged topic. And the truth is that we cannot deny that *some* social inequalities were historically addressed through this movement.

    There are also many problems that can be connected to the aggressive push of women to get out of the home and into the workplace. Perhaps not ALL problems that are blamed on feminism actually stem directly from that movement. Personally, I believe few of them do. I step back a bit and can honestly say that most of the problems we see in society have existed for centuries.

    Feminism may not be the “root of all evil”, but I am willing to examine the idea that it may very well have been a main vehicle to propel us into an advanced state of destructive self-centeredness which continually eats away at the moral fiber of our society.

    It is a bit disturbing to read that Kelly’s best option “is to not discuss this topic any further at all, since we are that many who disagree with you on this very issue.” (This suggestion is made on *her own* blog where she graciously allows anonymous comments and encourages thoughtful, RESPECTFUL discussion of her opinions)

    A short list of other “touchy” topics include abortion, homosexuality,the environment, religious freedom and politics. Should people just stop talking about these things because someone who’s mind is made up might get offended? Sure, we would avoid “catfights” but we also would be silencing many people who truly have a perspective worth considering.

    Kelly appealed to readers to exercise a modicum of maturity and self-control when posting. And she asked that those who are not remotely open to honestly examine her perspective please post where their dissenting opinion will be welcomed.

    I don’t see that as being unreasonable.

    Heather

  44. […] here for a further explanation of why some comments are not […]

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