Generation Cedar

My post, “How to Be Important” reminds us that the greatest thing we can do, as Christians, is serve. Jesus taught it, and then led by example. Serving is not a glorified activity in our culture and we really need to cultivate it as a top priority in our homes. We must lead by example, praying our children grow to see how essential it is to their faith and life.

Serving is good for the one giving and the one receiving. It strengthens the Body of Christ. It gives hope. It tells a hurting soul they are not alone.

Although serving may not come naturally for some (we all have different gifts) I believe all of us are called to it. In this post, I wanted to list some practical ways to serve a grieving friend or family member who has lost someone.

Show up.

It cannot be underestimated what your presence with a grieving friend will mean to them. You don’t have to talk, you don’t have to bring anything. Just be there.

Take care of things for them.

This can range from caring for children, doing laundry, cleaning the house, to helping plan funeral arrangements (gathering pictures, etc.) to feeding animals, running errands or texting/calling others to update them with news.

Take food.

If they are in the hospital during someone’s last days, not having to worry about food is huge. But also after someone has passed, we know how difficult it is to do normal tasks, yet everyone must eat. TIP: If you want to serve someone far away in this way, you could send e-gift cards to local restaurants OR order from DoorDash or a similar company and have it delivered. I sent an “ice cream party” from a company to a distant, grieving friend once and it meant a lot to them.

Text or call them.

Just letting them know you are there, thinking about them and that you care for them is something everyone can do. Send a bible verse, a song, or just a little note letting them know you are thinking of and praying for them. Do this consistently, not just the first few days.

Send a gift.

Consider a piece of jewelry with a picture of their loved one. I try to do this when I know someone who has lost a loved one and it is a very meaningful gift. This necklace is a very pretty option. Having something to hold onto and have close to your heart is quite healing.

I would love to know what you have found helpful if you have suffered through the loss of someone close to you, or what you have done for others grieving. The important thing is that we take the time to be intentional, and do for others what we would like done for us.

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5 Responses

  1. When our daughter was stillborn last year and we were grieving, all the things you said were helpful to us. My sister came one day a week with her children for 6 six weeks and just listened to my hurting heart. That meant so much to me. Other things people did was helping with homeschooling our older 5 kids, mowing our lawn every week and driving me to appointments. For a long time I couldn’t mentally process anything outside my grief. Other people making my kids lunch and remembering their needs was so helpful. At my daughter’s funeral I didn’t even remember diapers or extra clothes for my 2year old or 4 year old. Both things were needed and other people quickly cared for them without telling me which was wonderful.

    1. Anne, I am so very sorry for your loss. I praise God you have a loving community to help you and your family thru wretched days. Lord bless you and keep you all. Praying for your healing as you move thru, and that you would feel the very presence of God with you. I am so sorry.

  2. Wonderful ways to share love <3. I lost my Grandmother (in an awful way) last year. She was the only person I knew loved me for my whole 54 yrs. I lost my Dad. And, I lost much during the tornado. The only thing I would add to your loving list is to remember folks after the first few weeks. It still hurts, I had no idea the level of grief that would hit, and for how long. Have compassion and grace for people even months later. <3 And, thank you Kelly for considering the grieving. We don't read about that often.

    1. Excellent addition, Tammy! Most people do well at comforting for a couple weeks, but it’s usually later that the deepest part of grieving happens and that is when they need others the most. So sorry you have had to walk that road. Thankful Jesus has conquered death.

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