Generation Cedar

It’s a strange, hard, fun and wonderful place I’m in right now.

Almost like standing between two worlds, one foot on each, peering back and forth with eyes that see so much larger now than they once did.

I am in the middle of my life (as much as I can presume), a mother still snuggling a 2 and 5 year old who think I am the whole world, a grandmother watching my daughter and son in law begin the joys and trials of living as a family, (wanting so much to tell her how today’s struggles will be a faint memory tomorrow, but knowing she has to learn that the same way I did) and mothering every age in between with a careful balance that tries to adjust to the differences of each of my children’s needs.

I am more relaxed (my older kids remind me of this often) and hopefully I’ve learned, just a little, to let the little go.

I remember when days were so busy with just the essentials of raising small children that I may not have enjoyed the moments as I should have. But now when my adult children come home and I get giddy about all my children being in one place again, I am reminded to really cherish the time–it’s fleeting.

And as much as that idea seems like a cliche, it is not. I want the young mothers out there to hear me and understand that you don’t arrive at some place where life gets easier; you just have to learn to anchor where you are, give THANKS in everything (and I mean everything–even the pain), and do the best job there with the future in mind.

Because you may leave the harried and tired stresses of young motherhood, but you’ll be met with the difficulty of “having your heart forever walk outside your body” as your children get older, feeling every pain they do, watching their mistakes, only unable to fix it this time. And ever so slowly, you will learn these children are not really yours, but were given to you for a season and the Lord holds them.

I used to think “one day” it will be easy. It’s never easy. It never will be. But it’s good. And it’s right where our Heavenly Father wants us, and right where He grows us and right where He compels us to lose more of ourselves and become more like Him.

That was the goal all along.


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11 Responses

  1. Absolutely lovely, Kelly. It’s so hard when you can’t fix the adult problems. Excellent reminder to keep an eye on eteternity and look to God. You have a beautiful family!

  2. Thank you for putting into words the truth of motherhood. I have children 3-24 and I feel so similar to this post.

  3. Love this, Kelly! We are in the same season with kids ages 3 to 26, and four grandchildren. As my youngest gets older, I cling to those “you are my whole world” moments as I know they will fade soon. And yet, spending time with my adult girls, and transitioning to more of a friend role is so sweet. I love the unique dynamics of when they need me as mom, and when we simply enjoy one another’s company as friends. But indeed, managing everything in between is hard. People going in different directions, missing those days when everyone was around the table at every meal, and adjusting to the constantly changing dynamics of being in two worlds is definitely not easier….but it’s GOOD!

    Cherish the little years, young mamas!

  4. I think every mom will look back and wish she took more time to bend low and really listen (not with just “uh-huh” and “oh?” while whizzing around doing a bazillion things); to have laughed more; to have fretted less; to have set aside the urge to have everything in its proper place. Of course we need those who have run the race before us to continue to encourage us and prepare us, but somehow we all end up needing to learn on our own.

    It’s like all those books on marriage that are suppose to prepare the starry-eyed bride how to be the best and most godly wife. But in reality, no bride can fully know how to walk the path until she is on it. We learn as we journey, as we fail and see our need for Christ.

    Thank you for encouraging us to simply be thankful for where we are at. Not to wish for yesterday or tomorrow, but to live in the present with Christ as our strength.

  5. D.

    A very insightful point. It is true…there is a degree to which one can never prepare or learn enough to be a good mother, wife, etc. It is only really learned in the living.

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