Generation Cedar

Winds of change: my daughter and her fiance, Kyle

We might as well just get some things out in the open. It will make life so much easier for both of us.

I know life is about change and that some change is very good, but it’s still change and so, can I just say, “I don’t always like it”?

And I see that your life is changing too–that’s just how life works–but I’m guessing that sometimes you don’t like it too, but maybe you’re just smiling because everyone else is and maybe, you just want to say, “I don’t always like it.”

You and I, we’ve built our lives around rhythms and seasons and we grow in the cadence of an ordinary day. Like sunrises and sunsets, our days wrap us comfortably in their habits and routine.

But wait, the seasons are changing. Our routines are getting interrupted by driver’s licenses and engagement rings and now a reading of “Goodnight Moon” isn’t quite enough to hold everyone’s attention. Can we just sit again on the floor, all of us, and stay there?

No. The answer is, “No, we can’t.” Because a life that doesn’t ebb and flow becomes stagnant. A routine that doesn’t stretch and change is a routine that prevents people from growing.

The truth is, I don’t like change, but a parent who wants healthy children must be flexible (and selfless) enough to bend with the inevitable. Do I want what is good for my children, or do I want to keep myself comfortable?

So if you see me crying as I plan a wedding or watch my son growing into a man, know that I know this is all good and right. Change just hurts sometimes. And it’s OK to cry.

And when I see you looking wistfully back at a nursery full of toddlers, I’ll understand your tears, and gently nudge you on, the two of us reminding each other that life is full of good things, even the change.

“I have no greater joy than to hear my children walk in truth.”

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13 Responses

  1. OH yes – those tears. I haven’t hit the stage of planning weddings, but I see that son of mine becoming a man and I remember those days I held him in my arms. Now, he’s big enough to hold me. Love this post… Seasons of change.

  2. Oh my, this brought tears. Poignant, beautiful and so true. I’d give you a big, warm hug right now if I could, Kelly. It’s hard and glorious at the same time, the ebb and flow of life, but new dimensions to our relationships are always being forged through the changes. Let the tears fall, and know that there’s beauty on the other side of the transition, too.

    Love and blessings,

  3. I’m there with you. Changes. They seem to be happening at a frightening speed lately. And I am thankful and take great joy in them, but, oh, they can be so hard. I sometimes want to just STOP everything and keep it just as it is. But you know and I know, we can’t and it is right and it is wonderful. I’ll tell you one thing, it is teaching me to seize the moments and hold them for as long as I can. To take notice of wiggly boys and twirling girls. To thoroughly enjoy teaching phonics, for the ninth time! Because it might be my last time. 🙁 Yes, tears with you, but also rejoicing with you. Love you dear friend, know that I think of you SO often even though I don’t always comment!!!

  4. My only child by birth (God’s plan not mine and my husbands) will graduate high school this year. I can’t tell you how many times the tears have come for me. It goes so fast and I am aching for the days we spent together at the zoo and ‘doing school’. I will live through this with the grace of God but it’s hard. It’s also very exciting. Talk about conflicting emotions!

  5. As I sit here at an hour where most of my world is asleep, with my baby who refuses sleep, with tears running down my face after reading your post, I am thinking of my eldest child, right now asleep in her bed. She is only 11 but I am starting to see the change. The beautiful change into adulthood (because we are raising adults right?). And I weep. Yesterday she made breakfast, lunch, and dinner, cleaned the house, and took care of the baby. All while my husband and I prepped the property for yet another hurricane heading our way. She amazes me. But then the next moment she is being a kid again, playing with leggos on the floor with her brother. I can see the woman she is growing up to be, and while I’m not planning weddings yet, I can see it is not that far off. But like you said, change is good and healthy, we just don’t always have to like it 100% of the time. Thank you Kelly.

  6. Like you, we have a wide age range of kids – ages 4-20. Our oldest daughter is on the verge of being engaged. It is good. And it is SO hard. I can not stand the thought, but I feel so excited for her I want to burst! Such a plethora of emotions at the same time. Goodnight Moon sounds SO sweet and stable – and SO long ago. Many days I just long for the afternoons with all the kids snuggled on the couch and my biggest concern being putting down the book in time to cook dinner before Daddy got home. But, time moves on and they grow up and start families of their own – just like I worked so hard to prepare them for. These are the days that I am so incredibly thankful that we still have little ones running around. Bless you guys and your daughter as she starts her new adventure. <3

  7. Our sons are now 23 and 25; the older one is married. I just had a total knee replacement 4 weeks ago. Both sentences are FULL of “change” and in end, all for good. I am so thankful for our sons and for my new knee. But in the midst of change, there is joy and pain, and tears of both joy and sadness. That is what is exciting about life.

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