Generation Cedar

My oldest daughter had a brilliant idea and I’m all for sharing a good thing, so I thought I’d pass it along.

Sibling friendships are of utmost importance around here. There seems to be a trendy “head-nod” toward typical strife between brothers and sisters, a sort of naturally expected and accepted fact of life.

But lots of things are natural that aren’t good. So we make a concerted effort to learn to deal with one another kindly, even in times of disagreement.

And you know that family relationships are the very hardest, because it’s where we feel the freest to let guards down, to be ourselves and to let our unconditional love allow us to act toward each other in ways we would never act toward our friends.

So we must work extra hard; it’s that simple.

So without further ado, here’s the idea we’ve implemented. A mail box outside each child’s room where they can leave notes for each other. It just does something. It encourages us to be friends, to not take each other for granted quite as much, and to spend time thinking kindly about one another.

Because they love receiving notes so much, it encourages them to write them. It likely will fizzle out in a little while, but for now, it has been a sweet, simple thing to watch.

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12 Responses

  1. We bought some small toy mailboxes for the same reason. Nothing stirs a child’s heart like getting mail – and there is something about the sending it that draws them nearer.

    Would LOVE to read all of your ideas for encouraging sibling friendships!

  2. What a great idea. I may have to try this with my boys. They are fighting so much. However with school in session, it’s calmed down but still…I like this.

  3. This is such a sweet idea. My daughters (71/2 yrs. and 6 yrs.) are always drawing pictures/writing little notes to each other. Lately we’ve talked a lot about encouraging others and building each other up. It’s THE most precious thing to lay back on my pillows at night, hear something crunching and reach under to find little notes from my girlies. Then in the morning they’ll say, ‘did we encourage you mommy?’ 😉

  4. Thank you Kelly for helping me to remember today what/who is important…these precious eternal souls that the Lord in his goodness has given me.

  5. Any tips for those of us with younger children? I have a 3 year old boy and a 15 month old girl and I cannot get my son to stop tackling, bugging, biting, etc. his sister. 🙁
    I so much want them to be best friends!!!!

  6. i LOVE this. My DS has (8) has some special needs and loses his temper a lot. He often writes a letter/picture of apology. He then drops them over the balcony. This would be a great place for him to put his “notes” to his sister. My DD who is 6 would also love this idea. She would probably make something to put in the mailbox several times a


  7. That’s a wonderful idea. You have so many good ones. I wish I could find a way to get. my kids to get along with each other. They are constantly bickering with each other, taking each other’s things, teasing each other, tattling on each other…. It drives me insane. I really try not to get involved, but they tend to suck me in.

    1. Kristen,

      I think it just goes back to the point I made in the post: strife happens because we are wrapped in flesh. So just like any other sin/habit/trait you want to help your children develop or conquer, it requires consistent attention and work. And I forgot that. The strife can be so button-pushing that we just want it to stop. now. But just like all the rest, it’s gardening, tending, planting, pulling weeds, until one day the harvest reflects the diligence of all the work. I think that’s the Christian life.

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