Generation Cedar

This approaching Mother’s Day  has brought about such mixed emotions. I read, with belly full of squirming life, the horrific details of the Gosnell trial in front of us, and am painfully aware that the abortion industry knows no bounds, and is becoming a bloodier and more murderous force, cloaking its audacity with “compassion for women”, all the while slaughtering them.

I’m also aware of how absurd and inconsistent we are. What Gosnell did was heinous; but no more heinous than if he had killed those babies just minutes before, right before they emerged from their mother’s womb (which happens every day), when he would have been protected, instead of on trial for murder, by the Supreme Court who deems it constitutional to kill a baby as long as there isn’t too much blood, apparently.

Motherhood is viewed by some to be so repulsive, they are willing to kill to avoid it. And once killing a baby is a protected option, all children must suffer the devaluation of their existence. As Rachel Jankovic so aptly put it:

“Abortion in our country is not a standalone moment, brought about by women who somehow haven’t heard of adoption. Abortion is that dark crisis choice served up to millions of women every year, courtesy of our cultural religion of self-fulfillment. It is the bloody path taken by many women who feel that they really “had no choice” (at least if they were going to finish law school, if they were going to have a career, if they were going to be slim in their bikinis in time for Spring Break). Everyone acts like abortion is a sad thing, but a necessity. But the truth is that abortion is the sacrifice that our religion of selfishness requires.” The Real Life of the Pro-Life Home

What Can We Do

We all want to do something. Some picket the sidewalks and beg women to spare their babies, praying that God’s grace would intervene in the last moment. We all need to be a voice.

And yet the jaws of this deadly monster seem too fierce to combat.

I’ll tell you what we can do, before we start picketing…we can repent, as the Body of Christ, for feeding the abortion industry, by lying to families about what God says about children and perpetuating the fear and stigma of pregnancy outside a “perfect” situation.

Pastors can repent for not honestly transferring the Word of God to their congregations about children and what they’re for and how we are to think about them.

  • We can repent for not living out, in front of the world, the living gospel, which includes the embracing of the blessing and purpose of children.
  • We can repent for saying we are “pro-life” but not fully living it. For mocking mothers with more than three children or ignoring her needs, treating her as irresponsible, which is to play our part in the death culture.
  • We can repent for killing our own babies through abortifacient means like the pill and IUD, before we claim to be bothered by Dr. Gosnell’s crimes.
  • We can repent for thinking, and making others think, that we have absolute control over life and have a right, a responsibility even, for the most temporal of reasons, to refuse to welcome children and worse, chide others who don’t do the same.
  • We can repent for coddling the children we do have, treating them as trophies rather than the steward-gifts from God that they are, given to us for HIS glory and purpose.


Christians can stop being hypocrites and start being consistent in their theology about life. We are pro-every-life, or we are not really pro-life. That’s what we can do.

Right now, in our culture, in our time, there is something uniquely potent about mothers sacrificing for their children. As we lay down our lives for them, presenting ourselves to God as a living sacrifice, that sacrifice makes an aroma. That sacrifice directly contradicts and blasphemes everything the world is fighting for. As you care for your children, on the long days and tired moments, disciplining yourself, sacrificing yourself for them, you are reaching out to the world. When you present yourself as a living sacrifice, the aroma of that sacrifice cannot be contained. We do not turn inwards towards our children and towards our homes because we do not care about the world. We turn inwards because the world needs to smell this sacrifice….

Motherhood is the big-leagues of self-sacrifice. Millions of women kill to avoid it. In our culture of self-gratification, to embrace selfless motherhood is a revolutionary act. To see the sacrifice and rejoice in it. To recognize that the cost is your own life, and to willingly lay yourself down. The world hates the smell of that sacrifice, because it is the smell of grace. They hate it because it is the smell of something living and burning at the same time — something that is impossible without a risen Savior.

There are times to stand on sidewalks and hold signs, but holding a sign isn’t what makes a mother pro-life. Being pro-life means putting the life of another ahead of your own. It means being daily grace to the small souls nearest to you.” The Real  Life of the Pro-Life Home, Rachel Jankovic

Purpose of Children

And it’s not just our negative attitudes toward children that are wrong, but also our lack of understanding the grand purpose of their role in the Kingdom. If we acknowledged God’s purpose for children, our entire paradigm would shift.

Doug Wilson (Rachel’s father) says it perfectly in Raising Arrow Children:

“Like arrows in the hands of a mighty warrior…Blessed was the man who had sons who stand with him in a crucial showdown at the city council. They were shoulder to shoulder behind him, and not over on the other side. Neither were they all at home playing video games or out back smoking in the alley….The patter of little feet around the house is a blessing of God, one that we know by natural revelation. But the promise of formidable children is a promise given to us by special revelation….Acorns are cute, but sprawling oaks weathering a storm are glorious. And when we focus on the real blessing of “adorable” children, this can be the cause of mission drift.”

They are a precious gift to us, but our happiness and fuzzy feelings are not the reason we’re given children. Their purpose is not to win beauty pageants or become the best athlete so we can brag on Facebook about them. Their purpose is to “contend with the enemies”. To be raised as mighty warriors, strong, competent, wise and bold. To further the gospel, to stand for truth, to increase the army of God and to glorify Him in all the earth.

And that takes a committed, deliberate, costly focus.

We will never see the atrocities of abortion begin to wane until His own people become truly pro-life and know their reason for being so.

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51 Responses

  1. As usual, you have hit the nail on the head in a timely manner for me. Thank you. With all the ‘negative’ voices out there, it’s so nice to hear someone say ‘you’re doing something right’! It’s also a little push to ‘keep on keepin’ on’ when I’ve grown weary of raising children. (fist pump!) 🙂

  2. You speak my heart. I am currently composing something similar but along the lines of “are two children enough?” Thank you Kelly for speaking so boldly and with such timing as mother’s day upon us. xo Janalin

  3. I think we also need to find ways to help women who cannot be at home with their children change that…

  4. WOW. Excellent post! There are many points that I would like to mention, but I’ll just mention one. You have so accurately described what our culture (and, sadly, even Christians!) say to us – “by lying to families about what God says about children and perpetuating the fear and stigma of pregnancy outside a ‘perfect’ situation”. Thank you for standing up and being bold enough to speak the truth about what is going on in our culture and for encouraging us to do the same. You are a blessing.

  5. This is fantastic! Your courage is beautiful. Thank you for your words. I’ve been reading your blog for quite some time and am truly inspired by you.

  6. From the NBC Philadelphia link on the Gosnell trial: “All of us are appalled by the substandard illegal practices,” said Vicki Saporta, who as CEO of the National Abortion Federation represents hundreds of U.S. abortion clinics.

    But they’re not appalled at the slaughter of all the unborn (and already-born) innocents.

    And this: “This was an incredibly horrible situation and when it came to light, he was somehow associated with the abortion community, which he’s not,” said Elizabeth Nash of the Guttmacher Institute, a research group which supports abortion rights. “It’s taking a long time for that message to get out. He does not represent abortion care in this country.”

    I felt like shouting at the computer screen, “Yes, he’s associated with the abortion community! Yes, he represents abortion “care” (what an ironic word that is) in this country!” He kills babies! That’s what they do!

    Boy, talk about people who don’t get it.

    How refreshing to read the Jankovic and Wilson articles after the aforementioned insanity. (I didn’t know they are father and daughter!) Excellent thoughts from both of them.

    And thank you for your commitment to life, Kelly, and for speaking of these things, not only the horror of abortion, but what it truly means to be pro-life. Bless you.

      1. That reminds me of watching Cybil Shepard (an actress) standing up once giving a speech at an abortion rally saying about Abortion rights that other than the Birth of Her Daughter-That this was the happiest day of her life. All I could think of was, What a contradiction!! They will be blinded until they know Christ!

  7. It’s ironic to me that the same people who demand “freedom” and women’s choice via abortion are opposed to the death penalty for those who deserve it. Let’s kill innocent babies and let live those the Bible would sentence to death.

  8. As horrible and disgusting as stuff like that trial is, it is so important to know about it so that we know how to fight it! And I love this quote. “A century ago [in 1809] men were following with bated breath the march of Napoleon & waiting with feverish impatience for news of the wars. And all the while in their homes babies were being born. But who could think about babies? Everybody was thinking about battles.
    In one year between Trafalgar and Waterloo there stole into the world a host of heroes: Gladstone was born in Liverpool; Tennyson at the Somersby Rectory; and Oliver Wendell Holmes in Massachusetts. Abraham Lincoln was born in Kentucky, and music was enriched by the advent of Felix Mendelssohn in Hamburg. But nobody thought of babies, everybody was thinking of battles. Yet which of the battles of 1809 mattered more than the babies of 1809? We fancy God can manage His world only with great battalions, when all the time he is doing it with beautiful babies. When a wrong wants righting, or a truth wants preaching, or a continent wants discovering, God sends a baby into the world to do it.” F.M. Bareham.

  9. “Their purpose is to ‘contend with the enemies.’ To be raised as mighty warriors, strong, competent, wise and bold. To further the gospel, to stand for truth, to increase the army of God and to glorify Him in all the earth.”


  10. The article about these abortions is sickening. It’s easy to convince people that this is wrong. It’s a whole different issue to educate women that their birth control pills or IUD could be killing babies too. It seems like a lot of women my age have never been educated on this. I sometimes struggle with talking with my friends on this issue. I have a strong desire to show them and tell them about the blessings that come with children. We are definitely fighting against a “me” culture.

  11. “What can we do?” has definitely been a question I’ve asked myself frequently when it comes to abortion because it seems like such an overwhelming task. The scripture that epitomizes what I have learned is this: “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” I John 3:16-18. I need to love with action and truth. We have a maternity home here in Tuscaloosa that is an outreach of a church here. They have been around for 8 years and have helped 80+ girls and babies. Most stay for two to three years and they help them get their GEDs, get jobs, get the schooling needed to accomplish their goals, teach them life skills like how to cook, how to be frugal, and how to budget, but they also show them the love of Christ and how to live according to His word as they mother and relate to others. Their goal is for them to leave the home able to support themselves and their babies and not need government assistance. It is amazing! If we’re going to be the church, then we need to provide the means to help people in need choose life for their children and then also teach them how to make godly decisions and submit their lives to Him for a rewarding future. These girls come from such sad backgrounds, it is truly unbelievable, but I know if not for God’s grace in the parents He gave me, I would have the same experiences. All that to say, our entire family has gotten involved and so has my local moms group and their families – we are able to give them baby showers, celebrate their birthdays, involve them in our ministry, and are now seeking to mentor them as well. It’s a small thing in the face of abortion, but one person at a time, we are impacting a future for them and their children. We need to teach the value of children but also be willing to help long-term in the raising of those children.

    1. Jennifer–Absolutely. It will require the Body to provide practical help for those women in need. Sadly, though, demographics reveal that 61% of women who abort are not in the poverty/single category:

      “According to the Guttmacher Institute, the research agency for Planned Parenthood, 61% of women in 2008 who procured an abortion were already mothers….there is something deeply disturbing in the motivation of those who want to abort because their family feels complete and financially secure. These are by and large not women in danger of poverty or anything close to it. These are women who have created a life for themselves and for their families that they do not want disturbed.”

      And so the devaluing of children at large, seems to be even a bigger issue now than ever, in terms of abortion demographics.

      On the note you were speaking of, we are so excited about The Morning Center, a crisis-pregnancy center opened by Samaritan’s Ministry (our medical sharing program) that allows people to do something more tangible to combat this dilemma.

  12. I loved this message, especially since I had just hit “send” on a mass email to our friends and family, asking them to support us in a fundraising effort for our area’s Pro-life Women’s Center. I sent it, and your email was sitting in my box. 🙂

  13. This is a great follow-up to the sermon my husband just preached on Sunday. It wasn’t taken very well by the congregation because many people don’t see children as a blessing. I am proud of him for still preaching it even though he knew it wouldn’t be well received. We HAVE to stand up for children and God’s view of how much of a blessing they are!

  14. Good Article Kelly! I would also like to add a couple of other thoughts here. Maybe the Church needs to repent also for making young women when they make the horrible mistake of having sex before marriage and getting pregnant, of completely humiliating them by making them stand before the congregation and repent. I have heard of this happening on more then one occasion. How horrible! Sin is Sin and if we were all called every week to stand up and confess our sins to the congregation, we would never get out of there.

    Also, We need to remember, the abortion industry is a great money making business. I remember many years ago, sitting down at our town’s huge parade and realized I was sitting next to the woman who worked at the abortion clinic I had been to many years before. We got to talking-I’m an extrovert, and she told me where she worked and what she did and how she really wanted to get out of there but she just knew she wouldn’t be able to make that kind of money anywhere else. I encouraged her to get out and in a way I regret that I didn’t get her number to help her but I was with my husband and children and didn’t want to tell her I knew who she was. I was also still very much dealing with this myself.I know the Lord has forgiven me and I’m so thankful for that!
    It is so true that those in the church-The Very Ones who should value children the most, deny them. I was sitting in church last week just kind of looking around. We have two new babies in the church. Lots of young moms who could have more but isn’t it easy to get caught up in all the activities of life and think we just don’t have time for more. I’m to old to have any more but honestly I’m praying that we will be able to adopt!!

  15. Beautifully said, Thank you. <3 I have two children right now, and It's so important to me to have a large family. Not to raise them to be the best athlete, smartest kid in school, or brag about how great they are at the newest thing. I want them to be lovers of God, our family and create a passion for God to teach and share with others. He has a plan for me, and if I'm supposed to have more then we will! It's in the hands of God!

  16. Excellent post! There truly are underlying thoughts & presumptions that have caused us to see children as less than the blessings that the Lord declares them to be. I definitely agree, we need to repent of that!

    But may I add, we still need to remember that there are 4,000 babies being murdered every single day…repenting and changing our attitudes is one thing, but let us not neglect our little pre-born neighbors, but rather let us bear fruits in keeping with repentance. Being able to defend our pro-life position Biblically is exceedingly important, but even still, 4,000 babies are being murdered every day. If someone were able to defend the wickedness of the Nazi Holocaust during those days in Germany, that would have been beneficial – but would we have hoped that they would try to resist the murder of their neighbors with more than words? Praise be to God that we do not encounter the threat of being thrown into a concentration camp for standing up to those who want babies murdered in our country! Oh let us use our time & energy for our littlest neighbors who do not have someone to speak up & act on their behalf!

    Pleading for babies’ lives with the gospel of Jesus Christ outside of your local abortion clinic is work for *simple* Christians like us. If any Christians are interested in starting up such a Gospel outreach, please feel free to contact me through FaceBook. I would be more than happy to help you in any way I can, and I have a list of simple tips in getting such a gospel outreach started, as well as some other helps. Please do not hesitate to contact me, for the sake of those precious little babies, and for the sake of the glory of Christ our Savior.

    May we never again be described like the lawyer at the opening to the Parable of the Good Samaritan, of whom it is said in Luke 10:29 ” But he, wanting to justify himself, said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?” “

  17. I would also like the church to stand up and take a stand on teaching young women that they have value and are worth waiting for (in regards to sex) and that the church will support and encourage them in their wait.

    The same idea for young men. That their time with their bride is worth the wait and in the process to stand up and be warriors for the young women and protect their value.

    I have seen too many unwed mothers in churches. A church I attended for many years was very supportive of them but I never once heard a message devoted to teaching young people the value of waiting and their value in Christ and their obedience to God’s teaching being worth waiting for.

  18. I am 46 and have been a Christian for 26 years, and I have to confess that it is only in the past year I have begun to realize the connection between abortion and our (the church) failure to see children as God’s blessing.

    We were only blessed with four (I don’t mean ‘only’ as though that is a small blessing – it is the most wonderful blessing, and I don’t mean to diminish its enormity, but you will know what I mean …) but we have, over the years, heard endless comments like, ‘*another* one??!’, ‘Wow – you’re a glutton for punishment’ etc. ONLY FOUR!!

    Well, they got their wish: I couldn’t add to the four…

    Your post is perfectly put, and until we recognize our sin, I fear nothing in the world will change. :'(

    Blessings to you and to all your blessings 🙂

  19. Kelly thank you, thank you!!!! Excellent post that made soo many great points! I’m so disheartened by the silence of the church over the issue of abortion. I have Christian friends who have asked me several times why I am so passionate about this issue..and why I post the things I do on social networks. They either seem annoyed or offended. I just don’t get it. But anyway, I’m sharing this for sure!! I love your heart for The Lord and family!!

    1. Kari,

      You’re welcome. I was thinking about the question, “Why talk about children, birth control, abortion, etc. so much?” which I get asked as well.

      Here’s my answer: Whether we are talking about the church and its problems, the nation and its problems, or whatever and “its problems”, we are talking about the PEOPLE. People are the heart of everything and it matters tremendously how we think about them and raise them. That’s the short answer 😉

  20. “Christians can stop being hypocrites and start being consistent in their theology about life. We are pro-every-life, or we are not really pro-life.”

    I’m curious…Are you also anti-death penalty? That would be a truly “pro-every-life” stance.

    1. “What is the biblical rationale? Capital punishment is instituted very early in the Old Testament—before Moses, before Sinai, before the Ten Commandments, back in the days of Noah, where God says, “If by man, man’s blood is shed, by man shall his blood be shed.” That’s not a prediction. The structure of the language there is an imperative; it is a command. The reason is given: “Because man is made in the image of God.” In other words, the Bible says that human life is so sacred, so precious, so holy—human life has so much dignity—that if with malice of forethought you wantonly destroy another human being, you thereby forfeit your own right to life. God doesn’t merely allow the execution of murderers; he commands it.” R.C. Sproul Jr.

  21. Thank you. I just wonder, murderers are also made in the image of God. And, when people quote the O.T., I wonder how many other O.T. laws they are keeping? There are so many laws that we no longer observe. It seems to me that Christians (and I am one of them) pick and choose which laws from the Old Testament are still relevant, and imperative to follow, today. Anyway, I know this is just an aside, not part of your main discussion on abortion, but I do take issue with pro-life Christians who are pro-death-penalty. It seems contradictory to me. I realize one life is that of an innocent baby and the other is of a guilty adult, but both are beloved children of God, right? I am just asking because it’s a point I struggle with too…What does it mean to be truly pro-life?

    1. Hi Nicole. I had commented above about the irony of people who are pro-abortion are also anti-death penalty so thought I would chime in if that is okay. Using the rational that just because we do not follow other OT laws doesn’t mean that we should ALSO not follow this law. All of the OT laws should still be followed today except the ceremonial laws which were nailed to the cross with Christ but we are still to follow ALL of the moral laws (Hebrews 10). So, if we followed the Bible and the sick man that raped and kidnapped those 3 precious girls in the news lately, he would be murdered for his sin. I believe if as a society we did follow all of the laws of the OT like we are supposed to our world be a much better place.

      I used to not understand how David could write in Psalms that he delighted in God’s laws. I would always read that and think about how oppressive it sounded. An then I would think to myself that my least favorite parts of the Bible to read would have been the very books David delighted in! Anyway, it wasn’t until a couple of years ago that I really “got it”. The more I grow in the Lord (with much to grow yet too of course), the more I see his ways, all of his ways, are best.


    2. Shannon responded well, I will only add this: abortion kills a person who has not had a chance to sin or do evil. The death penalty is punishment for a person who has chosen to do evil/sin. The baby didn’t choose it the criminal did.

  22. Kelly –
    Thank you for having the courage to post a topic such as this. It NEEDS to be said. And, unfortunately many of our churches are not saying it….many other Christians don’t want to “rock the boat” by saying it…and it has led to the result of a culture of Christians willing to look the other way in discussions about this very topic.

    On the flip side – I have seen many Christians angered by abortion and willing to stand in front of abortion clinics to protest that also complain about those of us have a multitude of children! From my first-hand experience:

    I was having baby #5 and had to find a Doctor that would take my insurance & was close enough to my home that we could walk to when my DH had to have the vehicle for work. About halfway through my pregnancy I walked to the office one day (with children #1-4) only to be surrounded by protesters with their picket signs, holding hands & singing hymns (claiming that this office did abortions, which I later found out 1 of the doctors did but not at this location). I had people shoving signs in my face telling me I was sinning & killing a living person. I told them that I was simply here to see the Doctor for my 6 month pregnancy check up! It went from slamming me about killing an unborn child to being quizzed about ALL the children I had with me. Were they all mine? Why in the world would I have *another* one with so many that I already have to take care of? What was I thinking? How could I be SO irresponsible?

    I have to tell you – that was the FIRST time in my life I got down right angry at a bunch of stranger that had no clue what they were talking about. Here they are complaining about abortions in one breath & then complaining about me having more than 2-3 babies in the next! I calmly (surprisingly given the situation) told them that maybe they should ALL go home and spend a little more time READING their Bible and PRAYING to God. Then AFTER they figure out EXACTLY what it is they are supporting, or standing up against, THEN they should speak out. I flat out told them that not supporting abortion AND slamming me for having kids just didn’t mix and they just made themselves look like idiots. (Ok, the idiot part wasn’t very Christian of me, but I was *angry* as all get out that my kids were in the middle of this crazy mess of uninformed people!

    It is so nice to see something that makes perfect sense….I can always count on you, Kelly to do just that! 🙂

    1. Erica,

      Wow, that is an amazing story. But it exemplifies an all-too-often scenario, just not always so “obvious”. The last Christian man I ran into who already knew we “had a bunch”, asked me if I was trying to get on a reality show. Then he just said, “Are you going to stop after this?” Which, just on a social level, is rude and intruding, when you think about it. I know he strongly opposes abortion, but he makes me feel like an idiot every time I see him. I try to avoid him.

      1. I don’t blame you for trying to avoid him. And you are far from being an idiot…I think that classification would fall at his feet for what he allows to come out of his mouth. It’s amazing what people think and then have the audacity to say to other Christians! While I know you aren’t having a large family to get a reality show I have to say that the idea does intrigue me. You live out your faith on a day to day basis and I think that is something other people should see, not just from you but anyone (but you have such a cute family that I’m sure the kids would be so cute on TV). 🙂

        Maybe next time you find yourself face-to-face with him you could very innocently look at him & say you have no idea about being on a reality show because you haven’t had a TV for eons…and maybe that’s why you keep finding yourself with more kids. Maybe if you shock him for a change it’ll clam him up! 🙂

        But seriously, I find that some of the biggest die hard Pro-Lifers that I have been around ARE the very same ones who question my family having 6 kids and it just makes you wonder…. I’m just so thankful that now we belong to a Church that takes me back to what the Bible says a Church should be! They really value children AND show it. In fact, one of my biggest supporters when we found ourselves pregnant with children #5 & 6 was a widow we met at Church. She couldn’t stop telling me how proud she was of us, how happy it made her to see our family. She would seek us out (in an auditorium like seating area for thousands) just so she could sit with us to help with the littlest ones.

  23. This was well said. We tend to be so selfish and children are looked at as “what they can do for me,” rather than gifts, as well as arrows to be stewarded. This is still such a controversial subject even in the church, and it ought not to be so. No wonder the world can’t get it right when the church can’t even come close to presenting a united front.

  24. this article touched my heart. I am pro-life but not always how or what to do. I hate the fact abortion even exists. God tells us He has a purpose for all of us. The ones who get aborted lose this chance to do something awesome for God’s kingdom. I have 7 children and I have had Christians in my own church mock me for choosing to follow God’s path for me and my family. They think I am nuts for wanting to more. God tugs at my heart for children. Thanks for this article and putting it out there.

    1. Dear Cara,

      Absolutely God can forgive you! I’m glad you asked that. Please be assured that abortion is not the unforgivable sin.

      You also ask a very good question about repentance after abortion, Cara. To repent means to turn. You can’t change the past, but you can turn away from having any future abortions.

      Repentance also means not only turning from something, but turning toward Someone, and that Someone is God. Do you have a personal relationship with God’s Son, Jesus? If so, you have the power of Christ resting on you. You are washed in the blood of Christ and are able to turn from sin and toward God. (I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Philippians 4:13)

      We can’t do these things on our own. We need Jesus our Savior. And when we are saved by the blood of the Lamb (Jesus), God promises us There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. (Romans 8:1)

      Cara, I found an article entitled “Abortion Recovery: Finding Forgiveness, Healing, and Hope.” The link is here:

      There are many Bible verses referenced, and several links that you can click on for further information. I recommend clicking on “what it means to repent from the sin of abortion”, a link you will find at the bottom of the Forgiveness section. The page it takes you to has good information on forgiveness and repentance.

      Do you have a Bible? If not, you can go to www (dot) biblegateway (dot) com to look up the references you find at the above link.

      I will pray for you, Cara. I hear your hurt, and through your questions I sense your search for relief from your pain. You will find that comfort and rest through Jesus.

      Hugs and blessings to you.

      Heavenly Father, I thank you for hearing our prayers. I ask you to bring peace and healing to Cara through Jesus your Son. Help her to know that there is free and full forgiveness through Jesus’ shed blood on the cross. Draw Cara to you, that she may walk in Your ways and place her full confidence and trust in Your Son, our Rock and our Redeemer, the Author and Finisher of our faith. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

      1. Thank you, 6 arrows, for your complete and tender answer…you have said everything that needs to be said. Cara, repentance is available for anyone, for anything, at any time.

    2. Cara-
      Something I don’t talk much about is my past is that at the age of 18, right after graduating high school, I discovered I was pregnant. Without going into great detail – I felt lost and had nowhere to turn & wasn’t even able to talk to my family about it. I felt stuck. I had no options. (Or so I thought.) I did what I felt was my only choice and had an abortion. I felt a little guilt about it, but went on with my life.

      I didn’t even think about the abortion until 2 yrs later when I found myself 5 months pregnant. An alcoholic & drug addict at the time I was so screwed up that I had no clue I was pregnant. I had a shot to induce my period and when it failed to work the Doctor started running tests and *boom* I got hit with the news that I was either 5 months pregnant OR pregnant with twins. Needless to say I didn’t take another drink or any drugs from that moment on. (God at work in me!) And when my first son was born I held him and just sobbed & sobbed & sobbed. The GUILT I felt at aborting my child 2 years earlier was overwhelming. Here I was holding this precious life that for all intents should have had all kinds of physical & mental problems because of ME. He was perfect. He was precious. And he reminded me that I did the ultimately selfish act of killing an innocent child, my child that I would never have the joy of knowing, or watching grow. I was a murderer.

      Fast forward to 4 yrs later. I was at Church and we were singing “Here I Am, Lord” and I completely lost it. I thought about turning from God, becoming an addict to alcohol & drugs, the abortion….and I was singing and looking at my 2 precious little boys faces. I walked up to the altar and poured my heart out. I begged God’s forgiveness. I asked Jesus to come into my heart & heal me.

      Being someone that is in the position of having had an abortion I know what it feels like. I know the doubts that arise when you become a Christian and have had an abortion. Now logically I know that Christ died for my sins – past, present & future. My burdens were no longer mine to carry – I handed them over to God. But my heart was still heavy was the abortion & what I had done to an innocent life. I realized that I needed to forgive MYSELF. God had already forgiven me. I was being my own worst enemy at this time in my life. I was holding myself back by beating myself up for a decision I had made years before while not even knowing Christ on a personal level because I had turned away from Him.

      To answer your question – YES God will forgive you…you only have to ask Him. But please, please, PLEASE forgive yourself also. Failing to forgive yourself will just keep driving a wedge between you & God. It will hold you back from the fulfilling relationship you can have with Him. Don’t beat yourself up for decisions you made in the past. You can’t change it. But when you repent you are admitting that you did something wrong AND turning away from that behavior. Like 6 Arrows said – “To repent means to turn. You can’t change the past, but you can turn away from having any future abortions.”

      If you feel like you need to talk about it please feel free to contact me! I have strong shoulders and am a great listener. You can reach me at

      Bless you!

      1. I wanted to share the song with you because it was such a help to me then & still is today.

        “Here I Am, Lord”
        I, the Lord of sea and sky,
        I have heard my people cry,
        All who dwell in dark and sin
        my hand will save.
        I, who made the stars of night,
        I will make their darkness bright.
        Who will bear my light to them?
        Whom shall I send?
        Refrain: Here I am, Lord. Is it I Lord?
        I have heard you calling in the night.
        I will go, Lord, if you lead me.
        I will hold your people in my heart.

        If you want to listen to it there is a great video on Godtube. Here is the link: A beauitful song with a great message!

  25. Sadly churches don’t talk about abortion enough. I’m fortunate to belong to a church that has created an abortion awareness type of organization. I pray that by you getting out the word, maybe the Holy Spirit could work through your blog to reach those that may be considering one.

    You can visit my blog at:

    I just posted an awesome awareness video on this topic.

  26. We also need to change the way we view adoption.. Most people say they support adoption, yet I get so many sentimental comments (“those children are so lucky to have you”‘ as if this is some sort of ministry, aside from motherhood in general being a ministry”) or I read articles that imply that adopted children are second class (Mr. and Mrs. Jones have 3 kids and 1 adopted daughter), or women make comments like, “I could never carry a child to full term and then just give it up for adoption….” Implying that women who do are monsters. They talk to children about their “real parents” instead of their “biological parents”. Adoption is the only choice for a woman or girl who is unable to be a mother (and there are those kinds of women out there. I told my daughter that just because a woman gives birth doesn’t mean she’s able to be a mother) besides abortion and adoption needs to be looked at, not in the sappy, sentimental way I get so much of, but as a real, legitimate way for God to build a family, on the same level as biological families. After all, as Christiians, this is the way God built His family.

    1. I agree. But just wanted to point out that sometimes when women say that they couldn’t imagine carrying a child to term and giving it up for adoption…they may not be implying that women who do are monsters, only that they would have a hard time doing that themselves. It takes a very strong female to love their child enough to know it is the best thing for the child. I don’t know if I would be strong enough to do that I admit it. It would be hard. But in many situations it is the *best* choice to make.

      But you are right, in that it IS a way for God to build a family. My grandfather adopted my mother & one of her sisters and while he was not my biological grandfather I was closer to him than anyone else growing up. I always knew he loved me. And I know that he loved me because he made the CHOICE to have us in his life. My oldest son is not my DH’s biological child, yet my DH made the CHOICE to be his father in every sense of the word.

      I have always thought that choosing to adopt children is the ultimate choice of showing love. Unlike those of us who are given the gift of children through the natural process of procreation, people are consciously deciding to open their hearts to another human being through the process of adoption. And the love that is shared between adopted children & their adopted parents is no less real just because their lives were brought together in a different manner.

  27. Amen, Amen, and Amen. Judgment begins in the house of God. The church needs to stop playing footsie with the world, follow a strict biblical theology and develop orthopraxy. Faith without works is dead. It’s high time the church emerge from its pious corner and start engaging the culture whilst keeping its members unspotted from the world. It begins with ourselves, making our calling and election sure and developing a consistent biblical worldview. This will then carry out into our families, our churches, and local communities.

  28. This is right on. Preach it sister — I’m so sad I missed the chance to have a large family as I was single and “all about my career” until I was 35! I’m blessed with an amazing Christian husband after waiting years and not settling. I have one “arrow” at my table and pray for as many as God can give through adoption! Please check out our new life work as we missed the calling, have repented of our sin and want other young Christian couples to know the truth about our death culture! We have a website & 60 minute film that shows all the history on HOW WE GOT HERE as the CHURCH… My husband just published a book on America’s Forgotten Reformer as audio book for busy mom’s, too. Anthony Comstock was the leading evangelical – one man who kept abortion off books for 100 years! Thank you for blessing me with this TRUTH!!!

  29. Hello,
    We are the blessed parents of 4 sons. We use a non-abortive kind of birth control because of the fact that we feel that we are in over our heads already! My children constantly drive me to my knees, and I know this is a good thing… to constantly be aware of my need for the Lord.
    I wish that we wanted more children. It is not financial,we live very frugal lives and the Lord has blessed us with more than enough. It is really emotional and practical. I already feel like I don’t do enough in discipling, disciplining, training, etc. I hardly ever leave my house and I don’t feel like I get one-on-one with my kids often enough as it is.
    So what lies am I believing that would make me not want to have more children? I ask this with a humble, teachable spirit. I have talked with older women and pastors and they all seem to agree that since we are not under law, we can do what we want to do in choosing the size of our family. I have struggles because I do not see any Biblical confirmation of this being okay, but I also don’t feel like I should have more children just because I feel like I “have to”.

    1. Natalie,

      That’s an honest question I’ve never been asked before. I want to be sensitive to your feelings while also helping you address your question through a lens of Scripture.

      First, it’s interesting that you’ve been counseled that “it doesn’t matter” about reproduction because we aren’t “under the law.” I never knew reproduction had anything to do with the law and I think that phrase is a convenient way to help us out of anything we don’t want to look at from God’s Word. We aren’t under the law, for sure, in terms of our salvation. But the law still guides our ethical and moral choices, right? Do you feel at ease with adultery since we’re no longer under the law?

      I just wanted to clear up what I believe is an incorrect application of that statement. With that said though, can we equate adultery with our reproduction? I don’t think so. It was not written in the law and so we do handle it differently.

      But how? I think it comes down to our understanding of who God is and our purpose on earth. When we understand that He is the creator of life, He opens and closes the womb (the Bible tells us that), He gives a heritage to His people because it is His desire that we raise them to be a part of advancing His Kingdom, that we ourselves, are “not our own” but here to do the will of the Father, then all those things begin to come together and we view our role differently than just “having kids.” We see ourselves, especially as mothers, with the honor of this mission field before us and even on the hardest of days, we know THIS is what we have been given to do–to glorify God and bring our children up to do the same.

      There are certainly lots of days where mothers feel inadequate. It helps me to think of the saints of old, given such impossible tasks, but watching how the Lord sustained them. He doesn’t promise to give us “no more than we can handle”; He promises to be our strength in our greatest weakness.

  30. Thank you for your response. I agree with you that the law idea is not applicable to this topic. I know that the Lord changes the heart of the regenerate to do His will as we renew our minds with the Truth…that is why I assumed I was believing a lie. In my heart, I know I ought to trust God with my fertility…the problem has been that my weakness is so real to me.
    I am praying the Lord would change our hearts that we would be willing to joyfully give more than we are “giving” right now. I believe the answer is that we would grow in our love for God, and that we would believe (despite what it seems) that He can and he will be glorified in our weakness as we follow His way. I would appreciate prayer, thank you for your ministry!

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