Generation Cedar

My official “due date” was last Wednesday, the 16th.  I am still pregnant, though 😉

In all honesty, this has been one of my greatest struggles with a pregnancy yet. Part of me knows that the truth is a “due date” is only an average between 4 weeks of what is considered normal delivery time. So technically, I’m not overdue yet, though I feel that way.

I am physically pretty miserable but it’s much harder emotionally waking up *still pregnant* day after day.  (I guess in the back of my mind I’m always hopeful that after this many children I’ll actually go a few days before my due date.) I periodically just break down sobbing, then pull myself together and start again. I went “over” two weeks with my first two, but this is the longest past my due date I’ve gone since those.

In addition, Ellia has the stomach virus.  This is her “love the baby” position. She raised my top and fell asleep on my belly after a rough night for both of us. (I hope this picture isn’t offensive; if it is, tell me, and I’ll remove it. It seemed so sweet to me.)

I am learning that I am certainly not in control and that all one can do is be at peace with God’s time table.  Easy to say, harder to live.

It feels like life has been on hold for weeks.

But despite the irrational notion that sweeps over me periodically where I fear I might be pregnant indefinitely, I know little one will come soon.

Also, God has revealed Himself in such a mighty way through all the comforting words, prayers and flood of love and care through friends from the blog world down to my closest ones.

In addition to friends who have already brought meals to us, a very special young lady begged us to come and stay until the baby is born so she could help out.  She has been here over a week already, (she’s staying until we return from the hospital).  She LOVES to cook (I call her a “food artist”) and delights in the meal preparations each day, entertains the children so I can rest, does what needs to be done, and just generally brings joy and a huge helping hand.

Bria works alongside her, of course…I can’t fail to give her due credit. Bria has been such a constant encouragement to me, full of joy and tenderness and service. But Olivia’s presence here takes so much of the load off and makes it more fun for Bria. (They are like a well-oiled machine together, and then they retreat in the afternoons, giggling with their cups of tea and favorite book or movie, to a quiet place to refresh.)

What a blessing to see the vision these two have!  To be happiest when they are serving! (I can’t even *make* Olivia go home for a break.) And what a beautiful thing as I watch them, along with my children, playing, laughing and eagerly serving our family, finding absolute joy in it, where so many would scoff that “it’s unfair”, or that a mother of many shouldn’t *have* to have help.

Beloved, this is what the body of Christ looks like in motion.

Until you’ve seen it, it’s hard to understand.  They’ve had more fun these few weeks, making special meals, baking cupcakes, having mud fights and sunny picnics and “soapy trampoline” time, anticipating with all the energy of children, the arrival of their baby brother.  It’s not the heavy drudgery some might imagine.

I just have to say “Kudos” to all my children and husband (please don’t think me bragging…I am just so humbly grateful) for their patience, their eagerness to do whatever they can to make me more comfortable, their hearts of gratitude, their infectious joy and smiles and all the wonder they bring to my life.  I feel ashamed, when I reflect on these blessings, to complain for one minute about this anxiety I’m feeling.

God has been so good to us!

By the way, unless something unforeseen happens, I will likely have time to post an “I’m in labor!” for you 😉

 

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63 Responses

  1. So glad to hear an update. Today, 52 weeks ago, we were both heading to the True Woman’s conference to hear Voddie!!! I went into labor that night. Now almost a year later you are waiting to into labor and your baby is a toddler. My sweet conference baby is 2 days shy of a year old and I am almost 14 weeks pregnant. My how things change and what a great God we serve. We (mom and I) are praying for you!

  2. Your pic is not inappropriate at all! It is sweet and beautiful. Your poor little Ellia! What a blessing to have a helper during this time. I hope your little guy comes very soon. God bless!

  3. Thanks for your update! Every day I’ve been checking in on you to see if there is any baby news. You have been such an encouragement through your blog, and I truly pray that all goes well in the days and weeks ahead. Enjoy your new little one, and bask in the sweet smell of a tiny little person so brand-new. Be blessed!

  4. The only thing “offensive” about that pic is your poor baby is sick, and I don’t like sick babies! Hope she gets well soon.

    Glad you have such a kind-hearted helper at your home. Those waffles look amazing!

    Hang in there. Your baby will totally be born in March.

  5. Today’s my daughter’s birthday so we were reading Psalm 139.

    I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.

    My Naomi was born by scheduled c-section so I never went into labor. I regret that so much. She has had a chronic runny nose her whole life and, because of some other things, down deep is a little thought that she needed a few more days in the womb that I denied her.

    Your friend, Olivia, that blesses your family so often is not just a blessing to you…but an example to us also. Tell her we love her and are encouraged to do likewise everytime we here of her service and generosity. God bless you.

  6. I loved the photo when I saw it on Facebook, and I love it now. 🙂

    So glad that you all have an amazing assistant in Olivia. Such a blessing. Hang in there… the baby will be here before you know it. You’re in our prayers.

    {{Hugs}}

  7. That picture is so beautiful! And don’t become discouraged; the Lord knows the perfect timing for your little one to be born. Once Ellia is over her stomach virus, I am sure you will be raring to go! With my youngest, she waited just long enough for her brother and sister to get over the croup before she showed her pretty face to the world. God really taught me a lot about learning to lean on Him when times are rough, and to wait upon His perfect timing. I hope you find comfort waiting patiently in the Lord. Soon you will hope your precious new babe in your arms!

  8. (OK, Kelly, taking a deep breath and jumping in…) I just *have* to comment on this one!

    This post is so beautiful in so many ways. Thank you for your heart of gratitude toward your family and Olivia and all they do for you. Thank you, also, for your picture of Ellia and her “love the baby” position. (And yes, I think the picture is sweet, too, and not at all offensive.) The picture is certainly a true testimony of the loving environment in which Ellia (and all your children) have been nurtured.

    Most of all, Kelly, I appreciate your gratitude to God and His good and perfect gifts. Your statement “God has been so good to us!” was a real blessing and a great reminder for me to be thankful for the many ways God has been good to my family, as well.

    Looking forward to that “I’m in labor!” post! (Lord willing.) Continuing to pray…

  9. I’ve been there, Kelly, and am empathizing with you! You’re in my prayers each day, and I hope it won’t be tooooo much longer. What a blessing to have Olivia there! May you find things to distract you from the thoughts and emotions of waiting for this precious one to come.

  10. I’m so glad to see your update as I was wondering if you had welcomed your baby yet. I, too, am awaiting the birth of my baby, now 5 days past my “due date”. I guess it never gets any easier to wait for such a joyous event. It’s wonderful you have so much loving, supportive help – looking forward to an announcement about your baby in God’s timing.

  11. You can do it, Kelly!!! (Yep, I am thinking of the movie FACING THE GIANTS…heeheehee!)

    I think the picture is precious…..but I am so sorry she has been sick! ((hugs)) to you both!

    The LORD is showering you with HIS love through those who are ministering to you…..your family, Olivia and your friends.

    Rejoicing with you for HIS goodness to you, Kelly!!

    I am watching for the “labor post!”

    You can do it!!!!

  12. It is lovely to hear your update. Please be assured that I am praying for you – it is tough going overdue – I was two weeks overdue with my second (after my first came 3 weeks early) – I remember those frustrating days of waiting.
    It is wonderful that you have a helper – I read her mum’s blog also & it is such an encouragement to me – she is raising beautiful daughters there!
    Love that photo – it is so sweet!
    Hope you have a good day – looking forward to “meeting” your newest arrival
    Blessings
    Renata:)

  13. Today is my due date, but I just never had any confidence in it and never expected to go this long, so it feels like I’ve been “overdue” for three weeks now. Add to that a “we stayed home, but my mom came up a day earlier than planned” false alarm, and a “we went to the hospital last night, but got sent home” false alarm and I’m right there with you. You’d think by #3 I’d know the signs. I’m just tired with the contractions that I’ve been having for three weeks now and with the waiting. Tears are usually close for me as well.

    But my washing machine is fixed (hopefully for the last time – it’s been broken most of the time since we got it due to our old one dying in October!)! And my brood is healthy! And my dad is staying with us right now, with my in-laws probably coming up next week. Other than cramps and general grumpiness (and not being able to sleep or walk…and the indigestion), I’m really not that uncomfortable so I shouldn’t complain.

    It’s just that my other two were “Christmas” babies (the first was early Jan, but he was breech, so there was plenty of drama leading up to that birth, and the 2nd born Dec 23rd), so I had other things to occupy my mind. This time around it’s just “keep up with life.” And that’s so frustrating! I actually have time to want to meet this little one and they’re being obstinate (just like me!)!

    Oh well….hopefully we will both be meeting ours soon!

  14. Beautiful post and pictures! Yes, Olivia in service is the body of Christ. God was never meant to be relegated to 4 walls. Our ministries often have nothing to do with “official church groups/events.” It is a willing and obedient heart that is most service to God and His Body. Really proud of this Olivia, although I have never met her. Being the hands and feet of Christ with joy ministers to God in such a heart tugging way, and to you too.

  15. I began to pray for you that the baby comes soon, but I couldn’t. The Lord designed this baby and knows exactly when he’ll come. Sooner isn’t always better. ALL of my babies were early, and not just a few days or even just a week.

    I am so thankful and grateful with you for your help! What a blessing she is and I pray more young ladies of the church rise up to such a calling!

  16. I am there with you mama. I was due a couple days ago and I have pulled ribcage muscles from coughing while being giganically pregnant. I have been crying too from wanting to to have the baby to being afraid to have the baby with my pulled muscles. Like you, something great that has already come of this is that I feel so loved. I have people already helping me with my other children, bringing me food, and praying for me. My husband has been so great taking over house stuff so I can rest and heal.

    The Lord gave me this verse today:

    “Blessed be the God and the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,the Father of mercies and God off all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-5)

    Praying for trust in his loving and perfect plan…and looking forward to when we are holding our babies!

  17. I know the feeling as well. I have birthed 6 children so far… and each one got later. Ugh. I always went to bed thinking “maybe tonight is the night” and cried in the morning because I was still pregnant:-(

    What an amazing gift Olivia has brought to your home! I have never had any help and always feel bad for my husband/children. They are always wonderful. They bend over backwards to help out those last few weeks. They can’t wait til God gives us another blessing too!

    Hang in there!

  18. Praying for you often, Kelly. I was out to dinner tonight with a sweet friend, who is also a mother of 8. We talked about how she was all over the place with her babies regarding their arrival times. We both agreed that no matter what, it feels like every day is a year when you are at the end.

    After reading about Olivia on her Mama’s blog and here, I just know I would love that girl. haha! What a precious heart. 🙂

  19. Beautiful post Kelly. I am thinking of you…I went 7 days overdue with my girl last summer – trust me I know what it’s like. Thereafter my aunt told me that in Europe you can easily expect to go two weeks over. Whereas out here that is almost unheard of…
    I loved hearing about Olivia. I love our church where we are members. We do receive help/meals when needed which is absolutely wonderful (and also from our own famillies). However, that is always mom-to-mom…never young people being involved. We often hear about Youth ministries, etc., catering to the youth…but Olivia sounds like a youth that is ready to cater! A great way to minister to others. I hope she reads this post and is encouraged to continue in good works!

  20. I hope you all get feeling better. That is one of my favorite pictures! I think it is so sweet!
    Olivia is awesome!

  21. Oh Kelly, you are a blessed woman! What a precious, tender moment between you and your two littlest lambs that you share with us. Thank you!! (Praying for you momma, and Ellia…my 2nd born came down with a sudden acute tooth ache that nothing would soothe the same evening that I went into labor with my youngest. When he realized I was in labor, I think the adrenaline kicked in and it stopped hurting him and he helped my husband fill up the birth pool. I did NOT want to be in labor with my sweet boy in so much pain, but being distracted with trying to comfort him made things seem to move quicker – kind of took my mind off of me, ya know?! At least until labor really intensified. ;-))
    You’re right about having to actually ‘see’ it to understand it, this ‘body of Christ in motion’. Ever since our move a few years ago, we’ve yet to find that kind of love in action that we were so blessed to be a part of in our former hometown. Seeing how much the church is missing out by not having it’s young people joyfully, actively reaching out to serve families in their church homes, well, it’s given us an eye towards raising up our children to do that very thing. You are gifted at casting a vision for biblical home-life!
    Thank you for sharing your struggles and your victories here. Those of us praying for you can pray even more specifically, and rejoice with you over the kindness of our Abba Father! You are blessed dear sister.
    One last thing, and I hope it’s not inappropriate to mention, that there are several things you can do to help get labor going if you’re full term…my midwives have given me tons of tricks over the years.
    Hugs and prayers,
    Amy B.

  22. Thanks for sharing, Kelly! Blessings abound! And, you are truly blessed. I remember when both of us were feeling that ninth month (you with Ellia and me with James) a couple of years ago…now I’m experiencing infertility for the first time (hopefully something that will soon be cured with nutritional adjustments), and I can say, I never thought I’d miss the swollen ankles! Believe me, I share this only in the hopes that it will lighten any burden you feel and give you new eyes to savor the end of this pregnancy. Can’t wait to hear the wonderful news of the birth! God bless, sister-friend!

  23. Kelly I’m sorry, I had no idea it would be so hard emotionally for you. And don’t even think about that pic, it’s beaty and love personified. What a dear thing, to have such lovely helpers, service, and children.

  24. i love that pic! i know how difficult the waiting is but alas God’s timing isn’t ours. ( i know you hate me saying that lol ) waiting excitedly with you ~hugs

  25. Dear Kelly,

    I just want you to know that I’m praying for you (from the Netherlands 😉 I hope you will find strength to endure the last days of waiting. I pray the Lodr will give you His strength for your labor. Your picture with Ellia is adorable. I hope she’ll feel better soon too. May the Lord bless you and your family and the little blessing.

  26. Kelly,

    I am praying that you will deliver soon and that you and baby are healthy and safe throughout it. So glad you have someone helping you and blessing your family. Thanks for sharing that sweet pic with us – not offensive at all. Just precious.

    Diane

  27. I should have shared an update sooner because your comments and prayer-promises have been a balm to my soul as I cherish reading each word! Tears flow…this is a bitter/sweet time.

  28. wow! such a beautiful family you are. thank you for sharing from your heart, such a blessing to me. what a precious photo too!! I know how you feel, Kelly. praying for you here in South africa :)love, Karyn

  29. Hang in there, Kelly! The last weeks (and days) of pregnancy always felt to me as though they were longer than the entire previous 38 weeks. As soon as you hold that sweet new baby in yours arms you’ll forget all about it. (And if you’re at all like me, these supposedly helpful words of encouragment are not really helpful nor encouraging.)

    That photo of your daughter is the sweetest thing!

  30. I feel your pain, I am a 42 weeker with all my kids including my 4th.

    Not fun….

    But congratulations will be here soon!

  31. Thinking of you regularly. Checking FB and the blog more regularly. God’s timing is perfect, and he is good all the time. The pic is sweet and sorry for the stomach bug. EEeeeWWW! Blessing to you and Bria and Olivia. Such sweet girls and what a great ministry. Praying for you.

  32. Kelly, praying for you and your new beloved. Would you also pray for me as I’ve woken up to my second miscarriage in 6 months today. Really sort of struggling and could use the prayers. Thanks.

    1. Jamie, I, too, am praying for comfort for you and your husband after this sad loss of your second child. I am very sorry for you.

    2. Jamie, I am also lifting you up to the Lord. I have had 2 miscarriages as well and my heart felt like it would break. Our kind Father did give us another (live) baby although at the time I felt like that would never happen again. Those sweet are waiting in heaven for us and enjoying Jesus so much right now which is the most refreshing thing to remember. God bless you and your family.

  33. Beautiful. The photo, the post, and you. I have to admit the photo kinda made yearn for another baby! 20 years ago today, I went into labor with one of my children. Your post brought me to (happy) tears as I remember my 5 pregnancies. My first in 1984 and the last (I think) in 2004. What a difference that 20 years made! Those last few days of pregnancy are definitely not easy. Prayers for you. Thanking God for leading me to your website, truly a blessing in my life.

    Warmly,
    Debbie

  34. Little Darling, so glad to get the update. Love the pic. I pray that she is much better now.
    I shall always thank God that He guided us to your “lunch” area at the Chatta. gathering.
    Praying for you.
    Love to you and your family,
    Isn’t that Miss Olivia something else. Kathy and her girls are absolutely precious ladies.

  35. The picture is precious! Thanks for the update and also for the reflections about your helper and your daughter. Sometimes I reject help that is so lovingly offered and your words convicted me. It also reinforced that joy can be displayed in serving and that in itself is a “ministry” to people. I will be praying for the baby and for you!

  36. ((((Kelly)))))You are at such a difficult stage, the waiting stage, but so many are in prayer for you, your baby, and your labor and delivery. It will be a precious event! I have only gone Early once with my 6 babies so I understand your plight. I pray that the Lord will allow this baby to come soon – but you are so blessed to have those sweet helping hands there in the meantime. What a blessing!

    And I hope that your sweet baby girl is much better very soon. I thought the picture was absolutely precious.

    Praying for you, Kelly!

  37. in my experience, these babies seem to wait for the right moment. Sometimes, I even hold back until things are “right”. God knows what we need, and especially what our babies need, so I try to take these overdue days and prepare myself, my home- internally. When things are put right, the baby always comes… Its a strange journey for sure!

  38. What a wonderful post! Great picture! Ellia is so incredibly sweet as are all your children. So thankful you have had extra help! Such a blessing! Can’t wait to hear that you precious baby boy is on his way! praying for you all…((hugs)) and love, jen in al

  39. My last baby was 20 days overdue and arrived very healthy and naturally, though large. 🙂 We had been in the hospital 3 hours away with my oldest daughter (she had leukemia) for two months and had gotten home shortly before he was born. I believe my body knew (and God) when the baby was to come. Just rest and trust in Him.

  40. Loved the post! I was 8 days overdue with my last baby. And he was so contented when he was born…very easy going. I decided that the extra cooking gave him some extra maturity to handle life on the outside. ; ) I wouldn’t have changed a thing!

    What a holy time. And I liked the photo, too. Praying for you!

  41. Hang in there, girl! I’m afraid I cannot relate (my three children arrived after they’d been born), but I do hope your little one comes soon. What a blessing to have such wonderful help, too!

  42. Wonderful post, SWEET picture, and FINALLY an update! Your family is so blessed to have the sweet helper, also! I cannot believe you actually considered not continuing this blog – you are anointed to SPEAK out, you have so much to say, it’s one of your callings! God bless your precious family. {{And hugs to you, Jamie, bless your heart.}}

  43. Hi, I can’t remember if I’ve ever commented here, but I’ve been following your blog for years and I really like it, although our ideas and cultures are very different.
    I chose to comment today because I find your picture with the baby on your belly the cutest thing I’ve seen in a while 🙂
    You are really sweet together and that image is farthest from being offensive, so please don’t take it down. I wish one day my children (if I have them) will love each other so tenderly.
    I wish you and yours all the best, especially in these late days of pregnancy.

  44. I have been wondering. Thank you for taking the time to update us.

    I love the photo! love it! It’s just precious.

    I have only gone ‘late’ once. Boy, it really does feel like a looooong time. I will pray for you and the wee one.

    What a wonderful blessing to have help. Truly.

  45. I’m sure everyone commenting must have mentioned how the picture is beautiful on so many levels. Maybe God knew that Ellia needed you with her through the flu before the new baby arrived – ? At the very least, it will be good to get the flubug out of the house before the baby comes home. Am I being positive enough? ;o)

    Your helpers are a great blessing – I know my older daughter has been a tremendous help to me since baby came last summer. Looking forward to the ‘labor’ post!

  46. Well, I hate to post such a pragmatic comment on such a beautiful post with so many sweet comments before it, but being the wife of an engineer I just can’t help it. 🙂 Have you ever considered charting your fertility signs (for information purposes only, not BC) ? Both of my sisters-in-law chart and so does a good friend of mine, and they have all three delivered on the due date calculated by their charts, not the one the doctor calculates (because doctors and even midwives often use a pregnancy wheel which assumes that everyone ovulates on Day 14 of her cycle, which not everyone does). You don’t have to take your temperature every day to do it, just recording your cervical fluid would be accurate enough, esp. if you’re not doing it for BC. I charted for one month 🙂 before becoming pregnant (currently) and I really enjoyed knowing what was going on with my body and my cycle. Just a suggestion and I hope everything goes well with your delivery! Take care!

  47. Kelly, our thoughts and prayers are with you. I’m “due” this week, but have become a bit weary since my checkup a few days ago because my doctor is pushing me to be induced, for no reason but that my “due date” is soon. I don’t like doctors like that; it makes me feel uncomfortable. 🙁

    What a blessing to have others ministering to you at this time, and what a blessing for them to be able to serve as well!

  48. Hi Kelly,

    I was due on the 20th. All my otherchildren were “early.” This is my first “late” one. I was scheduled to be induced tomorrow, even though everything looked good on the non-stress test and ultrasound. I was talking with a godly woman at church who mentioned how she was thinking about the fact that everyone has differing cycles in life (eraly bloomers vs. late bloomers, etc.).

    Later, my husband said, “What if for some reason known to God this baby just needs a little more time in the womb than the others did?”
    Then, the Lord brought Psalm 139:13-16, and I realized that God is the One forming this baby, and He knows best. The only “medical” reason I would have for inducing would be because I am impatient.

    Anyway, thank you for this post. It’s good to see someone in the “same boat” who I can pray for when I’m tempted to feel sorry for myself.

    God bless.

    By the way, the picture was not offensive to me; it melted my heart! 🙂

  49. I am due APRIL 15th – if things go as with my first four, we’ll be on time. Your post was most timely though – tonight I was feeling rather down about it all and had to really work on myself and my attitude as I contemplated the events coming up in the next three weeks before the due date. It is a blessing and I look forward to it – as my four children do – but I am about ready I think, even if my HOUSE isn’t! Good luck in coming to the end of your journey!

  50. Hi Kelly,
    I enjoy reading your blog when time permits but I have never commented. We have 4 children and I was “overdue” by 14, 12, 10 days reapectively for the 1st 3 and only one day with our 4th. I loved being pregnant – especially the last 3 months! Never did I wish for it to be over as I knew God would give me the baby to hold in His time. Hang in there!

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