Generation Cedar

Hope you don’t mind a slight deviation from our topic…thought some of you could use a rest 😉 I’ll continue our series, don’t worry.

Disclaimer: The following post is a reaction to something I read today. It is a reaction to a whole trend of feminism, not just one incident. It may offend. No personal injury intended.

A newspaper article jumped out at me today. I wasn’t even past the title: “Mayor’s chief of staff COPES, despite expecting triplets”…oh boy.

The illogical conclusions were screaming all through the article. Let me quote a few (names have been changed):

“Since Smith became pregnant with triplets, she has not slowed down in one of the most fast-paced jobs there is–working for Billy Johnson, the city’s mayor. The 38-year old has emerged as a powerful figure in the new administration as the mayor’s right-hand woman. He calls her his “alter ego” at work and the only woman besides his wife who seems to know what he is thinking.”

Didn’t God already give him a right-hand woman? Why is she so inadequate as a help meet? And I bet the “powerful figure” would shudder to be called a help meet…but that is exactly what she is. A help meet to her husband would be “foolish”; a help meet to the mayor makes her a “powerful figure”.

“Smith, who says she never saw herself as someone who stays home, plans to return to City Hall. Why wouldn’t she?” (!!!)

(Um…because there are helpless, newborn babies who need the constant care of the one from whose womb they emerged? From the only one, who, once upon a time, could even give them life-sustaining nourishment?)

‘Not one person has asked my husband if he’s going back to work after the babies are born,’ Smith said.

Could someone pass the blood pressure meds? I wonder if anyone asked her husband if he was going to go natural or have an epidural? If he was going to breast feed or bottle feed? C’mon people! She’s mad because someone had the AUDACITY to suggest she might be the one who takes care of these little gifts! We’ve “educated” ourselves right out of a brain!

“Dave Hammond, the mayor’s chief of operations, said he knew Smith would return to work. ‘She is passionate about what she does and passionate about bettering the city’, he said.

The mayor said, ‘the triplets will have more love than they will know what to do with if Smith is even half the mother to them that she is to her older daughter.’

Smith said, “We complain as women that we want to see other women in positions of leadership or authority, and as soon as that happens, we either insult their competence or suggest that because they might be in the position that I’m in and pregnant, that I shouldn’t return to work.”

So let me get this straight: man hires another man’s wife as helpmeet; now husband has to hire someone as his helpmeet; Mom gives birth to babies, but since she loves her career so much, husband must hire MORE people to do wife’s job of taking care of babies. Now that would make a great news story!

Sorry if I sound agitated; I think it was the blatant “Don’t even suggest that I should be a Mom” attitude running throughout the article that riled me up. She wanted us to stand up and applaud her for “not missing a beat, despite being pregnant with triplets”, applaud her for being a powerhouse, for going back to work, and for “being a mom”. You just can’t have the whole cake.

This is the feminists’ gospel; Mrs. Smith is just a victim of faulty education. This is what our daughters (and sons) are being taught on every side.

Bottom line: God has a good plan; this is not it.

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26 Responses

  1. Interesting. So, if Mrs. Smith were Mr. Smith, then would the role of being the mayor’s “right-hand” still be being a helpmeet? I don’t think so. If a is acting in a male role in the political world, why ascribe a female attribute to her? It seems more that she’s acting as a male in a male world. The relationship between her and the mayor is (could be/should be) the same as if Mr. Smith were in the same role. It seems that Mrs. Smith is androgynous–even hermaphroditic–because she’s acting as a man in the political arena and doing well at it but she’s also pregnant. It seems that she’s trying to be two things at once.
    I’m also curious about the idea that a mother’s breast milk was the only way to feed an infant. According to Antonia Frasier’s biography, poor Marie Antoinette wasn’t allowed to breast feed her children. It was beneath a queen so a wet nurse was called for. Slaves in the South often had to feed the master’s children their milk, which left their own children weak and malnourished. In such cases the wet nurse tended to be the primary care giver to the infant. Mother’s–particularly wealthy mothers– spent a limited amount of time with their children. They had other social obligations to attend to. I’m not saying this is right, simply that historically there are alternatives to a woman being the primary care giver. Both examples are before any formed idea of feminism. Are they, perhaps an precedent for working women today? What does this suggest for women today who want to raise their own children?

  2. Kelly:

    OK, I am in tears. It’s appalling to me that you are OK with holding other people up for ridicule.

    I am deleting your blog from my bookmarks, I cannot read here anymore. Your harsh spirit is a grief to the Holy Spirit. There is no justification for this, no matter how right you are.

    I leave you with this:

    “Thou to wax fierce
    In the cause of the Lord,
    To threat and to pierce
    With the heavenly sword!
    Anger and zeal
    And the joy of the brave…
    Thou warnest and smitest,
    Yet Christ must atone
    For a soul that thou slightest—
    Thine own.”
    —John Henry Newman

  3. Vera Prince,

    My point with being a “helpmeet” is not for the position as assistant, but for Mrs. Smith.

    Feminism kicks and flails against the very word; and yet, when they file in and become a “right hand woman” (because no, men and women cannot be the same), they are fulfilling exactly the same position as the one they say is “enslavement” and degrading.

    A man in Mrs. Smith’s position would be just that.

    Breastfeeding: I wasn’t referring to “history” but to a biologically obvious feature.

  4. Elizabeth,

    When Jesus told parables to the people, holding up examples of what to do and what not to do, were the people in His stories real or fictional?

    When He openly rebuked the Scribes and Pharisees, pointing to them as an example of what NOT to do, was he in sin?

    If my sinless Savior taught in such a way, I believe, with a clear conscience, that I have not sinned in this matter.

    And with my Savior I also stand reviled, but will revile not again.

  5. I just don’t understand how people can get so offended at opinions that you are stating on your own blog? This was your reaction as you stated at the beginning, which you are allowed to have (and I personally would concur on this issue)! This is your blog with your thoughts. Why get so offended? If you don’t like it (us readers), then don’t read it!

    I guess I am thankful my blog is not as widely read as yours, though I do not tackle as many “tough” issues as you do. I do not think I could handle the criticism as well or as articulately as you do.

    Keep up the writing, though it may step on some toes!

  6. GAH I feel like such a terrible person now because the comment I was GOING to leave was this:

    “Pass the blood pressure meds? That is hilarious!”

    I honestly thought that line was great. Didn’t think anyone was getting worked up over this short post! Silly me!

    No, it’s a sad article. They don’t even hear themselves, do they? I am so glad I can see the differences in this article and how God intended things to be. So thankful.

  7. Giving “live” details to flesh out a GENERAL trend, or mass mindset, is what the post is about.

    At some point we have to point out the ridiculous “logic” in the world’s way of thinking. There’s no gentler way to do that than using anonymous characters.

    This “don’t say anything that might offend someone” gospel is foreign to me. I didn’t see this characteristic in Christ. Love has a different definition than what many Christians make it.

    It is unloving to sit silently and let feminist dogma destroy families.

  8. “It is unloving to sit silently and let feminist dogma destroy families.”

    Amen! Thank you for your bravery Kelly.

  9. Kelly,
    Earlier today I was thinking of your blog and the very sharp rebuke you often encounter. Then I came accross this post and thought I’d opine here what I had been thinking earlier.

    Jesus minced no words, he didn’t apologize that some were indeed offended. He didn’t sugar coat the truth and he even got angry. :O He let disciples walk away when his teaching was too hard (John 6:66)

    Keep emulating the Savior and proclaiming the truth, let those with ears, hear.

  10. Kelly,
    Thank you so much for clarifying your post. I find your conviction and your dedication to your Christian perspective so exhilarating. I feel badly that Elizabeth feels hurt and has decided to leave. I do have one question, however. When you say that Jesus used parables to teach, and therefore you feel just in doing so, it occurs to me that Jesus was a little different than you or I. He was without Sin. He could point out peoples flaws because he had none. (At least, that’s what I’ve come to understand.) He told the people who would have stoned a guilty woman let you who are without sin throw the first stone. And Jesus, who could have thrown that stone forgave her. This, for me, a novice to the Lord’s teaching, is the single most moving story I have ever heard. I ask you now, my dear, dear friend, are you using this story to teach or are you throwing stones? I love to learn from you because you are so passionate, but I believe that it is not our place to judge, merely to observe and then pray the Lord will help a family in this position. Perhaps if you shared more of your pity and your compassion for this poor family who has bought into this lie so completely than more people could learn from you without getting hurt. I hope you don’t take it amiss, but I’m praying for this family now that they too can learn more about Jesus’ great love and his great plan and I’d like it very much if you would join me.
    With respect and kindness,
    V

  11. The obvious “feministic dogma” this article yields clearly speaks for itself. Bringing it to our attention as an example of the infiltration and overtaking of feminism in this world would have been more appropriate, though. True, it is a sad read.

    Yes, feminism has deeply embedded itself in today’s Christian churches and sounding an alarm to this wayward doctrine should be deliberate and without apology… and bathed with love. “…exhort and rebuke with all authority.” (Titus)

    However, this article is a demonstration of the “world”…for it does not state anything about these people’s faith in our Lord Jesus Christ. Apart from Him, how would they behave or act? How can we expect this unsaved world to have good morals and do what is “right” apart from the conviction of the Holy Spirit?

    This is your blog and you are able to do whatever you want….
    But, Kelly, your disclaimer at the beginning of that article already set the tone. Your passion about and anger at its contents seemed to have been at the foremost of your mind.

    I do not believe ridicule was on your heart, but I do feel we must be careful how we speak. When Christ spoke to the Pharisee’s and Saducee’s, He was speaking to His people…people of the law. He spoke very strong words, but it was always to those who thought they had done everything right and knew they were perfect in the eyes of the law. When it came to the lost, though, He spoke truth, but He always had compassion on them.

    We must all be careful not to go too far in making our point. It is better to keep silent, than to speak a word that we can’t take back. How many times I have regretted what I’ve said…

    We are reminded in Titus: “…to speak evil of no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing all humility to all men.”

    Thank you for listening.

  12. Thank you all for your comments…I do apologize for the angry tone; but I *promise* as I wrote, there was no anger at this particular woman. It was at the dogma coming through her story. I should have made that a little more clear.

  13. Kelly,
    I understood your point, completely. I am glad that I can come here and be “sharpened”. And, I am glad to see that you can receive rebuke when done by the last few comments in a more loving way. We should not get so offended by eachother. I hate that women struggle so in that area. And, we need to remember that sometimes in written word, we can miss the point a little. I am glad you clarified your aim of frustration. I agree…sometimes the world’s way of thinking IS so against the way God intended it, and so many are just lost. We need to point that anger at the sinister source and pray for those who are unaware. That is what I see your blog as….a beacon of awareness and a call to cause us to think. I hope any readers who come here can see that.

    Warmly,
    Andrea

  14. Okay, I don’t even have children, and this article disturbs me. If you have young babies, why wouldn’t you want to stay home with them and take care of them? I have never understood WHY women go back to work only a few months after they give birth to their children (unless their was some serious financial crisis and even then, this would need to be taken to the Lord in prayer).

    I couldn’t do this. I guess this is one of the reasons that I don’t have children . . . yet. I have a part-time job, but I know that IF I became pregnant, I would HAVE TO PLAN to stay home and prepare for my child and then take care of him or her. I wouldn’t want to go back to work and let someone else raise or take care of my child. I couldn’t do that! My husband also agrees with this sentiment – he would want me to stay home with my baby.

    I used to work in several daycare/pre-schools for several years FULL-TIME before I was blessed to get married and able to “flee” from that nightmare zone. You don’t even want to KNOW what goes on inside a daycare while the parents are away! I worked in an infant room for a time and the ratio for infants to teachers is 4 infants to one teacher. Therefore, if there are 8 infants in one room, by law, you are supposed to have AT LEAST two teachers. Well, the school where I was working didn’t practice this rule well. I recall several instances where I had 6 to 8 babies (4 to 13 months) BY MYSELF! Everyone knows that babies have their own schedules.

    One incident will ALWAYS stick-out in my mind as a complete nightmare! I had two babies crying to be fed (one by bottle, the other with soft foods in a high-chair), two babies needing to have their diapers changed, and 3 needing general attention (e.g., play time). I almost dropped a baby from the diaper changing table because I couldn’t see a clear spill which was on the floor (this is why you shouldn’t be in a room by yourself with several infants) and I almost injured myself trying to keep the baby from falling! Therefore, the baby who could eat soft solid foods had to “fend for himself” in the high chair because after I changed the diapers of the other two children, I couldn’t let the bottle fed baby continue crying for her formula. Some how I managed, but it was a complete nightmare and I felt SO bad for the babies, and if their parents could see this mascarade, they would be furious! Of course, NO ONE in the daycare came to help or assist me during this time. Why? Because other rooms had their own “low ratio problems” to deal with.

    This is only ONE example. I’ve seen other horrid things happen in daycare/childcare settings. This is just one reason why you shouldn’t let ANYONE ELSE raise your babies/children. When you do, you’re only asking for trouble! This is especially true with infants/young babies!

    Sorry for such a LONG post Kelly, but this article really, “chapped my hide.”

  15. Lady S.,

    Thank you for the heartbreaking insight…what stands in my mind, when I left my 5 month-old infant with private care to teach school, is that not ONE godly woman said ANYTHING to me about the possibility that God gave ME that child to care for.

    No one talked to me of rearranging our budget, being more frugal, working from home–in general, I would have given anything to have just ONE strong voice say, “This is not right.”

    There were none.

  16. Kelly,
    I’m sorry there was nobody to tell you that when you were going through these issues! I work at an office, and I’m pregnant with my first child. My coworkers keep asking me, “Are you saving up your vacation time for when the baby comes?” It’s not time yet to inform them that I’m not coming back after the baby is born, so I just laugh! It’s so surprising to me that nobody EXPECTS that I will stay home with my son.

  17. Feminists love what any sane person would call a middleman, but I suppose they’d call “middlepeople” to remove people from doing what they could do themselve.s Actually I think a lot of Americans like middlemen, but it’s not usually as upside-down as this…although paying a premium for breads that are no better than you can make yourself is pretty silly!

  18. Kelly,

    It is so sad that we have come to the point that we are just expected to return to work no matter what the costs may be. If you ask any mother what he most precious possession is she will most likely respond that it is her children. So why then do we allow our most precious possessions to be cared for by others? I would be bet that many spend more time, effort, and thought in deciding who will manage their stocks then they do their own children. At least I know this is how it was for me before I learned of the Lord’s calling on my life.

  19. Perhaps this is an extreme example… It’s not an usual thing for a woman with triples to decide to not to stay home with her children. It seems like this woman wants perhaps too much at once. She ought to have some time to stay at home with them. It’s up to her if she wants to divide the time with her husband, but the children need to have contacs and growing bounds with both of their parents. I would say that it’s a good idea to place the children in a kindergarten eventually, just because I believe it’s a good thing for children to meet other children and learn from them. That’s the best way to tell the children to respect and appreciate each other from the start, when they see that some children are black, som are not, some children are muslim, some are not. Also it has been shown that the children’s language developes the best in interaction with other children.

  20. Bravo!!
    I’m a strong and capable woman.
    I could easily be a Mrs. Smith if I didn’t hold my devotion to my kids and husband as #1 after God. I’m a work-a-holic by nature… a busy body. I could easily be one of those mom’s who could say, “I would go crazy staying home, I have to work.” Instead I use my talents and gifts to work from home. I am a Director for women’s and children’s shelter, but I have a house supervisor who deals with the daily needs of our clients and I take care of administrative areas from my home office. I balance that around homeschooling my kids. This is a very delicate balance act and I’m always going to the Father to ask for guidance. I have a seperate homeschool area where the kids and I disappear for hours enjoying eachother during our “table-time”. I finally have a wonderful rythm that allows me to use my gifts and stay home and continue to minister to my family first. If my working ministry ever came before my family I would quite. As a matter of fact I will be quiting when my two adopted children come home next year. Just my thoughts… http://www.haitiadoptions.blogspot.com
    🙂 EMMA

  21. I believe there was sympathy in the post. John the Baptist named Herod for committing adultery with Phillip his brother’s wife (Herodias.) I am aware of a few times where Paul personally named people who he felt other Christians needed to be warned about. John the Baptist “o generation of vipers,who hath warned you to flee from the wrath to come?” So you see what the truthful thing to do was and thus the only loving thing. When the diciples were commissioned to go from house to house taking the message of the Gosple they were told to wipe the dust off their feet as a witness against them who would not accept the message. Sounds harsh in our “that’s great for you but not for me” age of immoral relativism. Just my .2c New here so not exactly sure what this is all about…a friend emailed the link:-)

  22. Oh yeah something I forgot to add. Titus 2 tells us that when a woman doesn’t keep at home (which is in line with Prov. where it says it’s a strange woman whose feet abide not in her own house) that she is BLASPHEMING the Word of God. Harsh also I know.

  23. Sorry I keep thinking of other things also. A point to remember is that feminism stems from communism. You woman are another worker so you’re not a useless eater at home…your baby needs to go into the state day care program and we need you back on the production line makeing the oligarcs rich. In reality women haven’t been freed from the bonds of home making…we all still do it even if we now maybe get help from our husbands. I believe that at least among conservative Christians of the 17/18 hundreds that there were publications encouraging husbands to be good househusbands managing and delegating to the wife in the home. This was prior to feminism. Husbands realised their wives needed help in running a large (not by yesterdays standards…although 20 was still big then) family. I think feminism has made our husbands colder towards us (women.) It makes sense…if we don’t need their help because we can do it all then they won’t give it for fear of being biffed in the nose. My post is also long…I do appologise…I don’t often do this sort of thing…I have trouble managing my 7 and homeschooling as it is.

  24. Kelly,

    I find your writing to be pretty amazing. I don’t find you cold or cruel at all. I agree that we need more women like you guiding the misguided christian women. I wish life was like it was 50 years ago. I think I may possibly be the only stay at home mom on my street! I quit a career to stay home with my son and now daughter and I still struggle with all the pride issues. I know this is the place for me to be and I want to be here but I do struggle with being valued, etc. Society turns their nose at stay at home moms. I think one of the many negative effects of feminism is that most mothers don’t know how to “keep home”. I am a prime example and I struggle with this every day. I did well at my job, I was climbing the ladder, etc. But I don’t fare well as a mother. I find it extremely challenging and feel defeated almost daily. I am hoping praying and working toward becoming the wife/mother that God wants me to be. Feminism angers me because so much was ingrained in me that I am now trying to fight against to live the life God chose for me.

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